Black and Resilient by M.J. Fievre

Author:M.J. Fievre
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Mango Media
Published: 2021-10-08T00:00:00+00:00

Actions…and How to Respond

The type of microaggression known as a micro-assault can be the most difficult to deal with. Sometimes you’ll find yourself questioning whether a microaggression just occurred because they can be very subtle. But sometimes they are so blatant you just can’t believe one occurred and are at a loss as to what to do.

Here are some suggestions for dealing with micro-assaults and more flagrant acts of racism.

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Action: Calling you the wrong (other Black person’s) name: “Oh, sorry, wrong person!”

Message: “You all look alike” or “I can’t be bothered to learn your name.”

How to respond: Correct them. Say, “My name is _____________.” If it’s an ongoing problem, pull the person to the side and tell them, “I don’t think you understand how much it bothers me that you haven’t learned my name. I’d appreciate it if you’d stop calling me _____________. My name is _____________.”

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Action: Clutching their purse, dodging while passing a Black man or unnecessarily calling the police.

Message: Black people want to rob, rape, assault, or otherwise harm me.

How to respond: Depending on the situation, you might need to just back away; put your hands where they are visible and leave the scene. If the person is calling the police, you can say, “I have no intention of harming you. I’m leaving now.” If the encounter escalates at all, pull out your cell phone and record the incident.

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Action: A store owner following a customer of color around the store.

Message: Black people steal things from my store. They are suspicious.

How to respond: Your instinct might be to do your business elsewhere, but remember that in an equal world, you should be able to do business anywhere.

You have options:

You can calmly confront the owner and use technology to document the interaction. If you don’t capture the moment, or you wait until you get home to report the incident, chances are you won’t be believed by Management or Headquarters; it’s he said/she said at that point. It’s a sad truth but, in this world, you need to learn how to document using video evidence.

Another option is to ignore the situation and continue your shopping (while avoiding putting your hands in your pocket or purse). Then, check out of the store and leave. If you find it best not to confront a suspicious store owner or security guard as it could cause the situation to escalate, that’s your choice—and yours alone—to make.

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Action: Dismissing an individual who brings up race / culture in work / school setting.

Message: This is not an issue we feel comfortable discussing or, worse, there is no problem here.

How to respond: If you are the person being dismissed, take a deep breath, remain calm, and say:

When you dismiss my concerns, it makes me feel like I’m not being heard. I know these issues can be difficult to talk about, but this is important to me.

And then continue with what you were trying to say before you were interrupted.

If it is someone else being dismissed, you can speak up and say:

I’m interested in hearing what _____________has to say.

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