35 Dumb Things Well-Intended People Say: Surprising Things We Say That Widen the Diversity Gap by Cullen Maura

Author:Cullen, Maura [Cullen, Maura]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
ISBN: 9781600378126
Publisher: Morgan James Publishing
Published: 2008-09-01T00:00:00+00:00

“A leader without ethics is like a boat without a rudder,

their decisions determined by whichever way

the wind blows.”

MAURA J CULLEN

THE 35 DUMB THINGS

WELL-INTENDED

PEOPLE SAY

Chapter Three

1. “SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE… (Black, Gay, Muslim, Asian, etc…)”

INTENTION

The intention is to let the other person know that we have some personal experience with people from other group memberships like themselves. It is meant to make the other person feel comfortable, to build rapport and credibility.

IMPACT

This statement will almost always solicit a roll of the eyes. So what if some of your friends are (fill in the blank)? It feels as though you are showing a membership card for a group of which you are not a member. Just because you know someone who has a disability, doesn’t mean you know everything there is to know about all people with disabilities. Nor should it suggest that your friends’ experience is the same as the person with whom you are speaking. As soon as you make that remark, the person who is receiving the comment will most likely be offended and sincerely doubt that you do indeed have such friends.

BEST BET

Don’t try so hard. Speak of your friends as it is appropriate, not as a way to gain points. It is also wise to stay away from a line which will cause similar reactions; “My friend, who HAPPENS to be…”

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