You've Reached Sam by Dustin Thao
Author:Dustin Thao
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: St. Martin's Publishing Group
CHAPTER TEN
When I wake up in the morning, something is different. I sense the warmth of someone beside me. But when my hand moves across the sheets to find them, no one is there. Itâs only me again. I rub my eyes until the walls of my bedroom come into focus. Streaks of light glimmer across the ceiling like sunlight on water. If it wasnât for the thin window curtain, I wouldnât know it was daylight out. Itâs one of those mornings where you donât know how much time has passed since you fell asleep. Hours or days, Iâm not sure. I have to check the clock on my phone to orient myself for the day. Itâs Saturday. 9:14 in the morning. None of this seems right, but thereâs no point in arguing with it.
I sit up on the bed, and glance around the room. The chair at my desk is turned to face me, Samâs shirt still hanging behind it. Sometimes, I like to pretend heâs in the bathroom, or grabbing some water downstairs, and is about to come back. Anytime now. It makes me feel less alone when weâre not on the phone together. I stretch my arms toward the ceiling. Sometimes my hair gets tangled in my sleep, so I run my fingers through to straighten it out. The smell of barley comes through, and I remember. The golden fields. Was that really last night? If I close my eyes, I can see it again. Itâs strange to be back in my room with nothing but the memory of it. Like waking up from a dream, and having no one there to talk about it with.
Another world, another life, another thing to keep to myself.
I couldnât sleep well. I had the same dream where Iâm back at the bus station, looking for Sam again. It wasnât quite as bad this time, but Iâm still a bit shaken from it. I wish I could talk to someone about the dreams. Someone besides Sam, I mean. After everything I said to him last night, I donât want to give him more to worry about. There are things I should probably keep inside.
I stay curled in bed until a third alarm goes off, reminding me to start the day. My mother left me half a pot of coffee downstairs. I finish two cups and a bowl of cereal. An hour later, I meet Oliver outside on the porch. He texted me this morning, inviting me on another walk. But we have a different destination this time. Itâs Oliverâs idea. I wasnât sure about it at first, but I said yes anyway. Weâre on our way to Samâs grave.
The clouds are out this afternoon. Oliver and I take the long route to avoid the crowds in town. When I tell him Iâve never visited Samâs grave before, he doesnât judge me. Maybe he already guessed this. Maybe he understands why Iâm afraid to see it. As memorial hill rises into view, my stomach turns to knots.
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