You Can Talk to God Like That by Abby Norman

Author:Abby Norman [Norman, Abby]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: REL012120 Religion / Christian Life / Spiritual Growth, SEL032000 Self-help / Spiritual, PSY052000 Psychology / Grief & Loss
Publisher: Broadleaf Books

Feeling Alone in Church

We don’t want to be alone . . . and the church is supposed to be a place where you don’t have to be alone. But church can feel incredibly lonely—and it’s because we do not fail and lament together. As the youngest of three daughters, I knew what going to college would be like. I wasn’t afraid of it. I was ready. The first week and weekend, I was doing great. I found people to hang out with, I got along with my roommate, I got minimally lost on campus. But then Sunday came, and I walked into the church my mom attended when she was at the same college. The congregation was small, and I do not remember at all what the pastor said. I do remember how hard I cried.

I couldn’t remember a time when I didn’t go to church. I had never met a service I didn’t love. But I had never gone to a new church by myself. I was always at my own church or tagging along with someone. I felt so alone. One stranger halfway joked about making his daughter come sit next to me. I wiped my eyes and told him I was fine. I never went back to that church. I pretty much stopped trying to go to church altogether. Being alone was too hard. I only knew church as a communal experience, and I couldn’t bear the isolation.

Church is a communal experience. It has always been a communal experience. And lament was always supposed to be a communal experience. There are ways we can be with one another. Are you a person who is willing to be with people, even when it is hard? I know that sitting with someone while they grieve might be weird for you, but you can get used to it, and if you can’t, well, even awkward things are worth doing. What is not worth doing is naming and claiming and promising God will work everything out, or disappearing from places of suffering, or letting communities remain Instagram feeds instead of places for broken people to bring all of themselves.

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