XOXO, Cody by Cody Rigsby

Author:Cody Rigsby [Rigsby, Cody]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2023-09-12T00:00:00+00:00

DTR

My only concern when people go out in the world and tap as much ass as they want is that sometimes intentions get misaligned. While it’s completely fine to date people with no desire for anything serious, you don’t want to be misleading. I’m not saying you should announce your intentions the first time you share a drink. There’s no reason to begin a first date with a big “I’m not looking for anything serious” moment, and no need to disclose if you’re having three other dates that week. Go, have your three dates! Have the time of your life! But if you start seeing someone continuously or you can tell feelings are starting to develop on one side or the other, you need to be sure you’re on the same page. If you’re not, it’s time to walk away. That can be really hard, especially when the sex is great. Or when you’re lonely and enjoying the attention of someone who finds you attractive. Believe me, I know this. This slut has been around the block. But you need to be honest, with yourself and with others, about what you want and what you’re capable of in any given moment. Don’t be selfish. You might want to fuck other people, but you don’t want to fuck with them. It’s the Hippocratic oath of dating: First, do no harm.

Hopefully, if you’re in a place where you want to commit to someone and take the relationship to the next level, they feel that way, too. And while you need to align on the basics—Are we seeing other people? Are we both open to seeing where this leads?—I don’t think you have to rush to officially Define The Relationship. It takes time to know if you want to invest in someone for the long-term, and when you rush to have a big “What are we?” conversation, it’s as if you’re trying to ease your anxiety or feed your attachment style rather than get in tune with how you actually feel about a person. It’s easy to mistake a yearning for security with a desire for an actual specific human being.

My relationship with Michael, the married man I dated despite knowing better, probably fell squarely into that category. I did not have my priorities straight in that relationship. Aside from the obvious baggage of HAVING A HUSBAND, this man wasn’t very cute, he didn’t have an incredible body, he was wildly insecure, and had countless mommy and daddy issues that he was processing in toxic ways (like cheating on and lying to his husband). He did have a big dick, which was definitely a factor for the pro column. Good D is good D, but good D doesn’t make up for a complete lack of emotional stability. But I was twenty-four and I wanted a warm bed at night. What I should have done was taken a beat to slow down and examine why I wanted to be with this man.

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