Wuthering Heights by Tanya Landman

Author:Tanya Landman
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781781129883
Publisher: Barrington Stoke Ltd

Three years passed. Three years in which I heard not a word from Heathcliff. There was no message carried by the baker’s lad. No letter. No note. Nothing. It drove me out of my mind – to be left utterly in the dark, to not know what Heathcliff did, what he thought, what he felt, what he suffered, whether he lived or died even. I could not rest nor be active – nothing stopped the missing of him itching under my skin until I wanted to peel it off my bones. I was in agony every waking moment and when I slept I dreamed of him. I was being tortured on a rack and there seemed no end to the pain.

And so, in the presence of God and before witnesses, I promised to love, honour and obey Edgar Linton until death do us part. There seemed nothing else to do but marry him.

Nelly had been right – I did not know what it was to be a wife. I had no mother to explain what would be expected of me. I must endure Edgar’s caresses. I must welcome him into my bed and suffer his touch. But the only person’s hands I wanted on my flesh were Heathcliff’s.

Hindley had decided he wanted no more women in the house once I was gone. He sent Nelly along with me to live at Thrushcross Grange. Hareton, five years old and still mortally afraid of his father, was left alone with the monster.

I didn’t want Nelly with me. I’d never forgiven her for her silence that night. If she’d spoken sooner, I’d have caught up with Heathcliff. I’d have gone with him wherever he led. I’d have thrown myself under his horse before I’d let him leave without me. But Nelly came to Thrushcross Grange, for I had not the strength to object. I’d long since recovered from the fever in my body, but I still suffered from a sickness of the mind. My spirits were so depressed that the world was drab and colourless. Edgar was kindness itself, but despite all his efforts I could care about nothing.

When tradesmen came to the kitchen door, I sometimes heard Nelly telling them how contented the newlyweds were. She said we were in possession of a deep and growing happiness.

I would have roared with laughter every time I overheard that, if I had the energy to do so.

I wanted to say, “Nelly Dean, you are a fool! Could anybody be more wrong? I’d once felt too big, too wild to be held in so small a thing as a body, but I am a shrivelled, pitiful creature now. Can you not see that? Heathcliff’s absence has not just halved me, it’s reduced me to nothing. I’m rattling around inside my ribs like a pea in an empty barrel!”

There were times I wanted to rage and storm. Times I tried to provoke Edgar just so I’d have something to lash out against. It would at least prove that I existed.

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