Undercover Robot by David Edmonds

Author:David Edmonds [Edmonds, David; Fraser, Bertie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781406396348
Publisher: Walker Books
Published: 2020-07-02T00:00:00+00:00

It turned out that Computer Club was not nearly as popular as other after-school enrichment programmes such as Street Dance and Circus Trapeze Club. I had my pick of the school’s primitive laptops set out on the tables of the computer room. “Will anyone else show up?” I asked the teacher in charge, Mr Foobar. Glancing at a spreadsheet on his computer screen, he told me that Martin attended every week, and right on cue he walked in. When he saw me, his geeky face lit up with a smile. Normally I would have been pleased to score some Friendship Points, but all of a sudden my sole objective was a friendship with one particular person – and that person was not Martin. What had happened to me? Had I been hacked? Oh, yes, I remembered, I had installed the Love Patch onto my operating system. That must be why I could not stop myself asking, “Is Avi coming?”

The smile on Martin’s face did a rapid disappearing act. He peered at me through his glasses and said, “He usually comes to the club to work on his animation project. He’s making a 3D film called ‘Zeno’s Arrow’, which gets closer and closer to being finished without ever actually being completed. I saw him in the corridor with Emmy just now, and he said they were going to a cafe called Grue & Bleen’s. Between you and me, I think he likes her.”

Bugs and viruses! My Annoyance levels were rising rapidly. If they reach a certain level, they trigger a circuit that turns my voice squeaky and swaps my dictionary to one full of rude phrases, like: “If your brain was as big as your mouth you’d be a lot smarter!” I took a deep breath, which is a way of quelling that circuit.

“Never mind Avi,” said Martin. “You can be my guinea pig.”

“Would that be a Peruvian or an Abyssinian guinea pig?” I asked. Normally I would not have revealed such a deep knowledge of rodents,19 but the Love Patch must have been interfering with my circuitry.

“A guinea pig is someone who tests an invention,” he said. “I’ve been working on a polygraph, and it’s time to try it out on someone.”

Now of course the word “polygraph” is in my extensive vocabulary, but it is marked with an asterisk, which means that I have to pretend I do not know its meaning. This time, I responded appropriately. I opened my eyes wide and said, “A poly-what? Is that some sort of a parrot?”

“No, no,” laughed Martin. “It’s commonly called a lie detector. I hook you up to my computer and ask you some simple questions. You can either lie or tell the truth. The polygraph will measure your pulse, your breathing and the moisture on your fingertips, and will detect if you are fibbing or being honest.”

“Well, all right,” I said. I had never undergone a lie-detector test, but the prospect did not faze me. I have an artificial pulse and heartbeat and simulated breathing and sweat glands.

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