To Look Upon The Sun by Shannon St. Hilaire

Author:Shannon St. Hilaire [Hilaire, Shannon St.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Wild Sage Books
Published: 2024-04-10T00:00:00+00:00

Emil’s lovemaking could be best described as fumbling. He seemed unsure of how to get from the door of Ilse’s room to the bed, then struggled with the order of taking off the necessary items of clothing and climbing on top of her and administering close-mouthed kisses. At one point, he reached for her breast, but she saw in his eyes that he decided against it. He placed his paw on the mattress next to her instead. Perhaps he thought it would be unprofessional.

In a few minutes he was done. He stood up, embarrassed by his semi-nakedness as he hurriedly dressed. He thanked her and escorted himself out.

The very best she could think of him was that he hadn’t been rough and she was not hurt. That was a success.

She cleaned herself up and stripped the bed of its sheets to be washed, willing her womb to remain empty.

If only she had a way to make sure Emil’s huffing, sweaty efforts were unsuccessful. In the thousands and thousands of years that women had been having children—and often not wanting to have them—they must have found a way to avoid it.

Of course they had.

Ilse dropped the soiled sheets. Heart pounding, she fetched out Physica from the bottom of her wardrobe. She opened it and skimmed through each plant, eyes hunting for the right words, though she wasn’t sure what those words would be. Pregnancy, contraception, prophylactic, fetus? She wished she’d paid closer attention during her casual perusals.

Marshmallow for fever, savin for worms, dauwurtz to purge the stomach . . .

Nothing she was looking for. Though she could not blame Hildegard von Bingen or her mother; these were the sorts of things ladies did not write down. Her body surged with pointless adrenaline that made its home in her thighs, pounding heavily there.

She snapped the book shut and tossed it back in the wardrobe with a thud, then gathered up the laundry to take down to the cellar.

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