This Time It's Real by Ann Liang

Author:Ann Liang [Liang, Ann]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
Published: 2023-02-02T00:00:00+00:00

• • •

I decide to give Caz his presents before lunch.

He’s recently started shooting some big-budget xianxia drama based on a super-popular web novel, so he doesn’t show up at school in the mornings anymore—making this the earliest possible time I can get it all over with. I’ll hand him the gifts and forget about it for the rest of the day.

But as I draw closer to Caz’s locker, the jar of paper cranes in my hands, the candles and birthday cake tucked deep in my schoolbag, I feel two things snake past the sharp of my ribs.

Hope.

Dumb, dangerous hope.

And dread.

It should be physically impossible for them to coexist inside me—this silly lightness in my chest, buoying me up, and this heavy sinking sensation in my gut. But now, in broad daylight, with Caz standing right there, as unfortunately beautiful as ever, I’m forced to admit that what I wrote on those paper cranes wasn’t just my exhaustion talking.

I might actually be crushing on Caz Song. Like a total sucker.

Even though our arrangement is already messy enough. Even though this makes yet another starry-eyed, rosy-cheeked fangirl with her heart on her sleeve.

As if to prove my point, in that very moment, Caz’s usual gang of friends come spilling through the locker area and swarm around him.

“Happy birthday, my man,” Daiki calls, slapping Caz’s shoulder while the others echo the sentiment with loud whoops, and Savannah, grinning widely, pulls out one of the most beautiful cakes I’ve ever seen.

My heart sinks.

It’s the kind of creamy white, multitiered, elaborately decorated cake that wouldn’t look out of place at a fancy wedding, with delicate blue flowers frosted over the sides and glistening bubble tea pearls placed at the very top. A few random onlookers gasp, some inching closer in hopes of getting a slice.

Suddenly, my own cake feels ridiculous.

It was an absurd idea to make it in the first place. Absurd to hope.

I’m already walking away, debating whether or not to just give my cake to Emily for lunch, when I hear someone call my name.

“Eliza! Eliza—wait up.”

I turn around, surprised. Caz is pushing his way through the crowd, past his adoring fans. Moving straight toward me. And I realize abruptly that the only thing worse than having a crush on a star is being made aware of it. My pulse speeds up, and if this were one of Caz’s campus dramas, there’d definitely be slow, romantic music playing in the background right now.

Oh god.

This is everything I was afraid of.

“Damn, you walk fast.” He shakes his head. Behind him, all his friends are nudging one another and watching us the way you’d watch a particularly fascinating episode of a drama, eyes wide and mouths half-open. Savannah is still holding the giant cake.

“Yeah, well, I have, um, plans already so …” I force myself to smile, but all of a sudden I can’t remember if I used to smile at him before. Or smile this wide. I’m terrified there’s a neon sign projecting my feelings from my forehead.

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