The Truth About Lou by Angela Von Der Lippe

Author:Angela Von Der Lippe
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781582436579
Publisher: Catapult
Published: 2018-05-16T00:00:00+00:00

INTERLUDE

So many promises we can’t keep

So many promises we still seem to need.

So many marriages just not to speak

So many promises . . . broken . . .

A fragment of a poem I never finished. Yeah, I think I know what she did. Married on the rebound. For the safety. And I guess old Fred held her hostage for the promise she couldn’t keep . . . and she him in an odd way for that secret love that did not break her resolve but lodged like a stone in her heart. He held her hostage with a life. No, not a child. No chance of that. Sexless marriage. Held her hostage with his own life. Must have known she couldn’t go. How bizarre. How ordinary. Insane marriage of convenience. A holding pattern. A home. They must have needed that. What an odd duck she was but a wild strong one. He must have known she would fly. She must have known he would keep her. Strange, perfect, meant for each other.

I look at that unfinished poem from a marriage now long split up and I fold it neatly into my desk drawer as a keepsake. Of what, I don’t know. My hard-won independence? Funny, how it all changes. Can’t feel the fire or pain of those words anymore. I remember the public wars back then but not the private hurts. Where did they go?

Computer’s down. No e-mail. Set pen to paper. Snail mail. Have to send off a note to that son of mine. Haven’t heard in a while, but he’s young, out filming, dating, I hope. And that other “geriatric” wayward one. What’s his excuse? Saving the planet. Does he really have to go so far, to the ends of the earth to make his point? Well, I’ll be brief in my note . . .

I look around this study of mine—yesterday’s coffee cup, crumbs here and there, open books strewn all over the place, Post-its with scribbled notes on the walls, a month’s laundry in the corner and there on top of it all that old rag-doll of mine, now limbless. That puppy’ll eat anything. And I can hear my mother saying “Anna, your room is a reflection of your mind.” And I smile. It will all keep til tomorrow. Still got some time left here. Get back to Lou.

“Meant for each other.” Well, for her maybe. But for me? There seem to be so many ways. How does one ever know?

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.