The Perfect Girlfriend by Hayley Smith

Author:Hayley Smith
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
ISBN: 9781837902620
Published: 2023-07-19T23:00:00+00:00

It’s a midweek morning, but as part of my new motivational routine, I decide to pamper myself. In the bathroom I light vanilla candles. A gratuitous slug of aromatic bath oil goes into the running water. I place my Christmas gift toiletries around the edges of the bath and step through fragrant steam into the hot water.

Afterwards, I daub myself with body lotion. But as I smear it, I notice bruises. I turn and look in the mirror, check my legs, my buttocks, my back. See the patches of purple and blue and yellow and green. I remember someone who bruised easily finding out that she had leukaemia. Perhaps I will go for a check-up.

I hang my head upside down and swish the hairdryer at my dangling hair. It feels thin and straggly and I realise that it hasn’t been trimmed for almost six months.

Next thing, Jay is back from work. There I am at the sink in my bra and pants with my make-up everywhere and he’s bouncing around, galvanised, rattling on about some festival or other.

‘Our first festival gig,’ he says. ‘Out on a farm in the Peak District. Two thousand capacity. The farmer and one of the organisers came over to the estate today to ask about temporary housing for their sheep while the festival is on. I was in the office, mentioned the band, said you’d played with some big hitters and they were impressed. Want to book us.’

‘That sounds great.’ I pack my pencils and lipsticks and brushes into the make-up bag.

‘It’s an eclectic line-up. They’ve got trance, reggae, folk, poetry, all sorts.’

‘Wow,’ I say.

Jay stands there beaming. ‘Get your best frock on. Go on. I’m taking you out to celebrate.’

I put on a dress that I have never worn before for Jay. A turquoise shift in silk: short and clinging. Lou gave it to me in a bin bag after one of her wardrobe declutters. It still had the label on. She said it wasn’t her: she’d bought it on a whim and couldn’t be bothered to take it back.

Then I remember the new shoes in the back of my drawer, feel a little pop of joy inside that I have the opportunity to wear them, to co-ordinate with the dress. I will tell Jay that Lou gave me the shoes too. I pull out the drawer and rummage under my T-shirts until my fingers are touching the plastic carrier. There’s an eddy of excitement in my belly as I take it out. I tip them onto the bed and the delight of seeing the colour and pointiness and newness of the footwear turns into something else: fear, confusion, a jumble of things like a sudden storm interrupting a summer day. They lie there on the bed, all the bits of them. A new pair of shoes with the heels snapped off. I know exactly what this means. Maria told him.

It’s a warning, I know it is. It tells me that Jay won’t accept infidelity.

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