The List of Things. by Emma Miller

Author:Emma Miller [Miller, Emma]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Emma Miller

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

LONELY BITCH BY BEA MILLER

I open the door to my apartment and run my hands through my wet hair, my heart rate has skyrocketed since I left Bellamy. I feel like my chest might explode, but I also don’t know if that’s a bad thing. It feels like there’s no way this could be a good thing. Maybe I should go to the hospital because truly I think I might be having a heart attack. There’s a knock on my door, and I open it without looking to see who it is. My best friend stands on the other side of the door, and I pull her inside and slam it closed, my pacing continuing.

“What is going on with you?” Sienna seems genuinely concerned for me.

I know I must look absolutely insane right now. But I can still smell him on me. The heavy smell of musk and vanilla. I smell the spice of his cologne all over me despite how subtle it is on him. I can’t stop the squeezing in my chest.

“I think I’m having a heart attack,” I feel warmth rushing all over my body despite the heavy wet clothes I wear.

I sigh and strip down from the dress into just a bra and underwear, and then I throw myself on the couch, reaching down to untie my shoes. I wouldn’t normally completely undress myself in my living room with company in my presence but I physically cannot wear those clothes anymore. I can’t have any remnants of him.

“Could you maybe explain why you think that? And also why you’re butt naked now?” She follows me through my apartment.

“Because my chest hurts, and it’s hot, and I’m sweating like a pig, and I feel like I might throw up too, or maybe not. I don’t know,” I kick my shoes off, peeling the socks off my feet. “And I’m soaking wet!”

I throw my socks on the ground and they splat on the hard floor. I lift off of the couch now, my pacing continuing.

“Calm down!” She walks forward to me. “Deep breath in, deep breath out.”

We breathe together, and I stare at her, the feeling not subsiding from my chest.

“Not helping.”

“Maybe explain what the hell happened and we can figure out what to do, alright?” She waves her hands in front of me, between the two of us.

She takes a seat on the couch in front of me, and my pacing starts once again in front of my coffee table.

“Okay, so we... Bellamy and I. We went on another date, and then he fake proposed to me, but he had a real ring. Not like a wedding ring but like a ring that fits me, and is for me. Well, that’s the thing I don’t actually know if it’s for me, or if it’s not for me. He didn’t ask for it back though so I’m pretty sure it’s for me. It’s pretty though, look,” I lean completely over the short coffee table, and shove my hand in her face as she sits on my couch.

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