The Kingdom of Liars by Nick Martell

Author:Nick Martell
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
Publisher: Hachette UK
Published: 2020-05-06T23:00:00+00:00

THE MAN WITHOUT HIS MEMORIES

A nurse at the asylum opened my mother’s room for me. “I’ll tell Gwen you’re here.”

“Don’t bother her,” I said. “I won’t be long.”

The nurse didn’t question me. “I’ll leave the door unlocked for you. Just let someone know so they can lock it when you leave.”

“Thank you.”

The nurse left after that, and I entered my mother’s room. She was sitting up, knees against her chest as she stared at the portrait of herself and my father on their wedding day. From what Gwen said, she did this often, so I didn’t interrupt, and simply sat on the bed next to her.

It wasn’t long before she said, “I miss your father.”

“I do, too.” And I did, albeit for different reasons. I missed the days when life wasn’t so complicated… the days when he was my hero instead of my shame.

“I’m sorry for what happened to me, Michael,” she said. “Gwen tells me I don’t have many good days… but today is one of them. I’m so sorry. I should have been taking care of you all… not the reverse.”

I put my arm around her and she nestled her head against my chest. She was so cold, and I felt my warmth slither off my body and onto her. “It’s not your fault, Ma. We never blamed you for what happened.”

“That doesn’t make it better,” she said. “I wish I could remember… I wish… I wish… Every time I think I remember what happened I… I…,” and she trailed off, seemingly forgetting the words she’d been about to say.

“I know, Ma. I know.”

She lifted her head and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Ma,” I began, “can I ask you something?”

“Of course, Michael. Always.”

I put my head down, avoiding her gaze to make this easier. “I don’t think I want to be a Kingman anymore. I can’t be a noble in this city. I can’t do it. I tried. I can’t.”

My mother hugged me tightly. “Never feel bad about saying that, Michael.” She made me look her in the eyes. “You are a Kingman, but that doesn’t mean you have to live up to that legacy. Trying to almost killed your father when he was your age. He wanted nothing to do with it. He left Hollow for years rather than devote his life to war.”

“But he came back.”

“He did,” she said. “But only after his parents, sister, and Queen were murdered. If they hadn’t died then, I suspect he and I would still be… still be… ah. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that neither of us wanted a life surrounded by politics. It drove us both away from our respective countries.”

My voice was becoming more ragged, cracking like a boy’s. “But there must always be a Kingman in Hollow. Everyone knows—”

“Fuck them,” she snapped. “Fuck the nobility. Fuck the Royals. Fuck the city. You owe them nothing. You are my child, and if you need to leave, leave. Run as far away from Hollow as you can and take your brother and sister with you.

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