The Greatest Story Ever Written by Ryan Cunningham

Author:Ryan Cunningham [Cunningham, Ryan]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Published: 2013-10-12T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 7: It’s Getting Real Up in Here

John has slipped into a deep depression. He can’t save the world. He’s no one. There are 7 billion people in the world. Why is he the one that matters? His depression has gotten so bad it’s even affecting his physical health. He’s getting fatter, he’s has these thumping pains in his stomach. And now he feels nausea. He runs into the bathroom and vomits in the toilet. Wait, that’s not vomit. It is kittens. Those weren’t thumping pains, they were kitty baby kicks. How could he have been pregnant with kittens? He is a man, a human man. The only possibility is…..Will. He yelled Will’s name. “Explain this to me” he asserted. Will explained that he probed John. He then explained that probed was a euphemism for a much dirtier act. John asked “Why on earth would you do that?” Will said “There is an invasion coming, we must be prepared, we need an army. Jesus implanted me in the kitten space ship to spy on their plans. They are sending an army to earth, disguised as meteorites to blend in with the upcoming meteor shower.” John was flabbergasted by the news “How long do we have?” Will told him the invasion was only 5 days away and he would throw up a thousand more kittens before then. The kittens will grow more and more every hour until they are full grown cat warriors. Some of them have already grown to adults. The cats are so big that they broke Johns toilets. Now they must be trained, but Will has one more secret. “I need to show you something else John” He said. He then let out a ferocious meow, transforming him into a lion. Will was no longer a little kitty. He was king of the jungle. Well in this case king of the suburbs. John was very happy about this, now that he has a lion on his side, he has a much better chance of defeating the alien invaders.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.