The German Messenger by M.J. Hollows

Author:M.J. Hollows [Hollows, M. J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2022-03-15T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 21

If Ruth had thought her grandfather’s living conditions were bad before, they had deteriorated, and she was now worried that his health had worsened. She thought that he required constant care given his age, but she couldn’t provide for him in the way he needed, not with everything that was going on. Even still, she felt the need to talk to him. He was the only person in her family whom she could truly rely on, even if he was no longer able to remember all the details. In actual fact, for that very reason, it made it easier to talk to him about what was going on in her life. She knew he wouldn’t judge her, and then he would lose most of what she told him anyway.

Ruth knew that she was the only member of her family who came to see her grandfather. Her parents had returned to Austria and her sister would claim she had too busy a life, even though Ruth knew that Abigail didn’t want to visit because she was worried it would bring out her secret and damage her husband’s reputation. But Abigail wasn’t mourning a killed husband and a missing child. Ruth almost choked at the thought. How she wished to tell them, but there was no way she could let them know she had lost George. It would not bring her closer to her family, they were too self-absorbed and they would only blame her. She had enough blame for herself.

She knew that well enough, for what had been done to her, she was close to becoming a traitor herself, and she wanted to know what her grandfather thought about it. He would know what to do, but they couldn’t talk about it here, it was too open. Others might hear her confession.

She put her hand on his shoulder, noticing how thin it was. There was hardly any muscle left, only skin and bones. Unusually, he was not writing away, but staring into the middle distance. He was conscious of her presence, but she was sure that he had only pretended to know who she was.

He coughed, turning away from her to save her the view. Even if he couldn’t remember everything he still had his manners. So many things they did were based on habit and instinct. Was that all her grandfather had left? He coughed again into a handkerchief, which Ruth didn’t get a good look at before he ferreted it away into a threadbare pocket. She could have sworn a pink stain coated the cloth, but she could not be completely sure, the dim light played tricks on her eyes. She would find someone to speak to, they had to know what was going on with her grandfather. There was no point hanging around here watching him deteriorating. She gave him a final hug, careful not to exert too much pressure, and left the house. Before she had taken two steps out onto the dry earth a soldier marched towards her.

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