The Family by Naomi Krupitsky

Author:Naomi Krupitsky [Krupitsky, Naomi]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2021-11-02T00:00:00+00:00

Sofia wakes sweating in the night and opens the bedroom window to let the sludgy air move around her like porridge. She turns to watch Saul sleep, the outlines of his face just visible in the gray city night. His brow furrows; words form and fade around the edges of his mouth. And it is now, while she is alone in the way one always is while watching someone else sleep, that something occurs to Sofia, something she has always known, but has never had the words for, or the courage to speak: it is possible she doesn’t want to be a mother.

She considers the unshakable physicality of her baby, turning now, suspended above the bowl of her hips. Her doubt feels also like a tangible thing, twisting its way through the air and blooming around her like nightshade.

She cannot fall back asleep. Her eyes dry out and ache. In the morning, the doubt is still there. It has coiled around her nightstand and she can feel its scratchy leaves in the folds of her clothing.

“Don’t,” she says to Saul, as he snakes an arm around her belly. “Don’t do that.”

“Do you feel okay?” he asks.

“I’m fine.” Her voice is a locked door.

“How about tonight I bring home Chinese?” Saul suggests. “You shouldn’t have to cook.”

“I said I’m fine,” says Sofia, and walks to the bathroom.

After she closes the door, she stares at herself in the mirror. Her face is always bright lately, shiny with new blood and warm air. Her features look ordinary. Are you bad? she wonders. Are you broken?

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