The Divine Center by Stephen R. Covey

Author:Stephen R. Covey [Covey, Stephen R. ]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Gospel Teachings, Inspiration
Publisher: Deseret Book Company
Published: 1982-08-15T00:00:00+00:00

SELF-MAP, SOCIAL MIRROR, DIVINE MIRROR

So far in this chapter we have discussed some of the positive effects of making God our center or frame of reference. Let us now consider the most significant negative effect any other center has on security, guidance, wisdom, and power. The effect I refer to is that of being anchored to and governed by the social mirror, that is, the reflection of the surrounding culture.

Most of us have visited the crazy mirror room at circuses or carnivals. There we stand in front of mirrors which reflect bizarre caricatures of our bodies. We laugh and are amused by the reflection simply because we know it is not a true one. It is an inaccurate map of the territory. We know this because each of us has a referent we can look at, a criterion to judge by: his body.

Now, consider what happens when the basic source of a person’s definition of himself is the social mirror—that is, the reflection of how other people perceive him. He has no true referent point to compare with this social mirror. He isn’t even aware it is a map. He thinks that the social reflection is the real self. He internalizes this self-view into a self-description or selfimage or self-concept. It becomes his label. He believes it and accepts it. And even though he may be exposed to other views or maps of himself, including the divine one, he rejects them because they do not show the distortions he has come to accept as true. He feels more comfortable with a picture or label of himself with which he is familiar.

Stan Herman recasts this problem in poetic form:

Ed said

When men found the mirror

They began to lose their souls

The point, of course, is that

They began to concern themselves

With their images rather than

Their selves

Other men’s eyes are mirrors

But the most distorting kind

For if you look to them you

can only see

Reflections of your reflections

Your warpings of their warpings

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