The Deceptions by Suzanne Leal

The Deceptions by Suzanne Leal

Author:Suzanne Leal
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Allen & Unwin
Published: 2020-02-06T00:00:00+00:00


That night, the conditions in the barn did not allow for sleep, at least not for a lot—there were too many of us crammed together—but it was still so much better than that relentless, icy marching. And when morning came, when the bolts were unlocked and the SS guards came for us, I wondered if by crawling into the haystack behind us, we might somehow escape the day that lay ahead.

Instead, we marched again. We marched all day, one more icy January day. And we stopped again that night. At another farm, this time with two empty barns and a third for the animals. That one—that third one—was the barn we chose, Eliška and Ida and Greta and I. Sharing a space with animals, especially with cattle, had its risks. We might have been trampled, but we weren’t. And we had space, enough space to lie down, enough space to sleep.

But in the morning, only three of us woke up.

Ida did not. Instead, she stayed as she was and when Greta tried to wake her, she did not stir. Greta looked at us—at Eliška and at me—in confusion. I stood as I was, staring right back at her. But Eliška bent down and, lifting Ida’s limp hand, placed two fingers on the inside of her wrist. Her head to the side, she waited, her fingers pressed down. Then she stood up. ‘No,’ she said, ‘no.’

No. No? How can it be no? Ida had survived Auschwitz and Kurzbach and she had marched for days without a break. So, how could she not survive now, when finally we had been able to sleep? How could it be no for her, when it was yes for me, and yes for the child inside me? How?

‘Quick,’ said Eliška. ‘We need to undress her.’

Undress her? Why? Would that somehow save her? Was that what she was telling us? By undressing her, could we get her breathing again? These were the scrambled thoughts I had as together, we relieved our friend of her red coat, her dress and her brown leather boots.

To Greta, who had been marching in clogs, Eliška handed the boots. ‘Quickly,’ she said. ‘Put them on, before they come for us.’

Through the windows, we could see the blackness was lifting: by daybreak we would surely be herded out once more. Ida’s coat, her warm red coat, was longer than mine, and bigger too, big enough for a woman twice my size. Eliška passed it to me. ‘Put it on,’ she said.

But when I looked at Ida, cold on the floor in nothing but a slip, I felt a sickness rise up in me. ‘I can’t,’ I whispered. ‘I can’t take it from her.’

In answer, Eliška pushed the coat at me. ‘It is of no use to her. Put it on,’ she repeated in a voice so commanding I had no choice but to accept it.

Eliška took our friend’s dress—her long-sleeved dress—to slip over her own, which was short-sleeved and flimsy. And so instead of taking Ida with us, we took only her clothes.



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