The Connection Process by Teal Swan

Author:Teal Swan [Swan, Teal]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781480861169
Publisher: Archway Publishing
Published: 2018-09-10T04:00:00+00:00

Unconditional Presence

All this being said, piercing through to someone’s essence should not be the “goal” of journeying through someone. The reason for this is that people so desperately need unconditional presence. Unconditional presence is the experience of having someone being present with you, focused on you in deep connection no matter what and conditioned upon nothing. Unconditional presence is true connection. Having a goal in mind is totally the opposite of this. It is conditional presence. It is sending the message that I’m being present with you so that I can get to my goal that I want to get to.

So much of the emotional damage in our life is done because no one was unconditionally present with us. Those of us who have been on a spiritual path for a long time, often get on the spiritual path because we want to heal ourselves. If we are truly honest, the root of the real reason we want to heal ourselves is that we think if we do heal ourselves, people will want to be with us. We will get the connection we were so desperate for and that no one could give to us. But here is the catch, the minute you set the intention to heal, it means there is a thought behind it. That thought is: “I need to heal” something. This implies that you have to change or fix something about yourself, which means that you disapprove of something. The best way to damage yourself emotionally is to look at yourself through the lens of ‘something needs to change’. You know how painful it is to have someone tell you that you are not OK the way you are and that you have to be different. This is what you really feel when you convey the message to yourself or to other people that you are not OK or that they are not OK and that you or them need to be different. If you approach yourself or someone else with an attitude of “I need to connect with you so that _________”, you have just taken a serrated knife to a wound that is already there. So, what is the alternative? The alternative is to fall in love with journeying for the sake of the experience of journeying instead of the destination or an end goal.

Fall in love with connection for the sake of connecting with someone. Fall in love with seeing, feeling, hearing, experiencing and understanding someone for the sake of those things alone, not because doing that gets you somewhere or is a means to an end. Be with yourself and be with other people unconditionally. Nothing on earth feels better than connecting with someone who is so curious about you that they want to connect with you for the sake of the way it feels to do so. This is why falling in love with someone is the most unbeatable experience we can have on planet earth. Falling in love with someone, forces us to be unconditionally present with someone, and to want to be.

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