The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness by Babylon Bee

Author:Babylon Bee
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Salem Books
Published: 2021-11-02T00:00:00+00:00

You can’t be a true anti-racist ally without also being a climate activist. You can’t be a true climate activist unless you also stand in solidarity with the LGBTQ movement. As with any religion, you can’t pick and choose what you care about here. You must care about it ALL. If you don’t, you’re an imposter—and we will find you and cancel you.

The stool of justice can also be used to beat Nazis.

WHAT IS CLIMATE CHANGE?

Climate change is the result of centuries of white cis-male heteronormative Christian patriarchy exploiting the planet for precious recources. Not only that, but they emit CO2 into the atmosphere. Mother Nature hates CO2 and gets mad when we spew it out. We literally breathe out this stuff. When you think about it, every time you exhale CO2 from your lungs, you are literally raping the earth.

Yeah, that’s right—you raped the earth, like, twelve times while reading that last paragraph. Your very existence is problematic.

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