Tex Murphy and the Tesla Effect by Aaron Conners

Author:Aaron Conners [Conners, Aaron]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Unknown
Published: 2014-06-03T00:00:00+00:00

32

I left the Brew & Stew and crossed the street to the newest addition to Chandler Avenue, Inspector Burns BBQ. Inspector Burns was a local celebrity who’d hosted a kids’ TV show about fire safety. The restaurant seemed like an odd tie-in but, hey, George Foreman sold a ton of burger grills back in the day, so what did I know?

Luckily, the joint stayed open late on the weekend and I got there a minute before closing time. According to Taylor, the kid who worked there was a computer whiz who did a little hacking on the side. I pushed through the door and into what I imagined the cafeteria in Hell might look like. The décor was red and black with a flame motif. The air was thick with the eye-watering smell of charred flesh and vinegar.

Behind the counter sat the little guy in the wheelchair I’d seen a couple times before. He’d even waved at me. He was wearing a red plastic fireman’s hat with the restaurant logo. He had his head down, fixated on a video game he was playing on a mobile device. As I got close, he spoke without looking up in a flat, rehearsed monotone.

“Welcome to Inspector Burns BBQ. My name is Mojo. Today's special is Chili con Carnage. It will destroy your hunger as well as your taste buds. Order when you're ready.”

I took a look at the menu laminated to the countertop and read the top line item: “‘My Hammy Vice: a ham, cheese & ghost pepper corn dog wrapped in bacon and deep-fried’. Does that come with a free colonoscopy?”

Mojo’s head snapped up like a kid under a Christmas tree who’d just unwrapped a Red Rider BB Gun. “Hey! Y-you're Tex Murphy!”

I’d never had anyone say my name with such excitement and not be intent on causing me bodily harm.

“And you're Mojo. I don’t think I’ve ever met a Mojo before.”

“It's better than my real name: Mordecai Josephus.”

“Interesting. Are your parents Klingons?”

His eyebrows went up. “I wish,” he said with utter sincerity. “Don’t tell me you’re a Trekkie. That would be soooo cool.”

I have a soft spot for geeks and nerds. You just have to be careful not to encourage them too much or you can get roped into extended diatribes about DC Comics versus Marvel or which was the best Dr. Who.

“I was a big fan of Star Trek,” I said. “And then I turned ten. My parents were into it. I think that’s why they named me James Tiberius. But then my mom started calling me Tibby, so I had to come up with something I could live with.”

He gasped. It was liked I’d knocked the wind out of him.

“Your real name is James Tiberius?! The ultimate Tex Murphy trivia! You just made my day!”

He glanced at his mobile device, hesitated, and then put it down on the counter. “I don't mean to geek out on you, but Tex – freakin’ – Murphy…badass P.I., man out of time, always quick with a joke – or his fists.

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