Take What You Need by Jen Crow

Author:Jen Crow [Crow, Jen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: OCC019000 BODY, MIND & SPIRIT / Inspiration & Personal Growth, SEL031000 SELF-HELP / Personal Growth / General, REL103000 RELIGION / Unitarian Universalism
Publisher: Broadleaf Books

Chapter 9

Give and Take

Never own more than you can fit in your car. I lived by that simple policy for the first twenty-five years of my life. As a teenager and young adult, I moved often, packing up every six months or so to go from this dorm room to that apartment, then later from this city to that one. The mantra helped me leave on a moment’s notice without being weighed down by things. At the time, I told myself it was part of my rebel mindset, that I was a minimalist. Smug and superior, I didn’t need things to define me. Nothing could hold me down. I was free to grab this opportunity or go on that adventure.

It was only when I was in my early forties that I realized that was only one part of the story. Closing up the office at church one night, I met with the youth coordinator coming careening in. Balancing an overstuffed backpack on one arm and a pile of books in the other, she barely made it to the couch before she collapsed. When I commented on how much she was carrying, she replied, “Yeah, I guess since my parents’ divorce, I just feel more comfortable carrying everything I need around with me wherever I go.” Her words reminded me of my own choice and the decisions we make for safety, security, or a way out.

We moved around a lot, as I mentioned. On the surface, it looked like I was rooted. My family lived in the same house from the time I was one until my mom died when I was thirty-six. But when I was a kid, my mom got sick a lot. Often happening suddenly, her illness would have my brother and me shipped out on a moment’s notice to stay with a neighbor or a friend or a family member for unknown periods of time. Sometimes we’d get to pack a bag, sometimes we wouldn’t. Sometimes whatever we happened to have on us would have to be enough. At a young age, I got to know I didn’t need much. My stuffed hippo, a book, and some clean underwear could keep me going for a long time.

When I got a little older, I started running away on a regular basis. And my backpack became the holder of all the things I really needed. I added clean socks and Little Debbie snack cakes, a bottle for water, and Chunky bars to my pack. Along with my school supplies, I figured I had everything I needed. I also began planning ahead, strategically amassing a stockpile by the shelter I’d built in the woods across the river. It included things that might be suspicious if I snuck them out all at once: several cans of Chef Boyardee ravioli (buried to avoid detection), a pocketknife with can opener, fishing gear, and a bucket (to put out my fire in case of emergency). I wanted to be ready to go on a moment’s notice.

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