So You Wanna Be a Pop Star? by Zachary Sergi

Author:Zachary Sergi [Sergi, Zachary]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Running Press
Published: 2023-03-07T00:00:00+00:00

♦ ♦ ♦

I can’t count the number of times I’ve dreamed of standing in a recording booth. A professional one, not the makeshift tour bus studio that production brought for us to record “Press Diamonds” the day of the finale. Standing in this booth now, I want to feel elated and inspired. Except all I feel when I look at the music and lyrics to “Reignbow” is disappointed and embarrassed.

Absorbing the generic pop beat and bland lyrics, it all feels as semi-problematic as the title. Made of phrases like “gems of every color shine bright under our Reignbow,” at best the song borders on pandering, and at worst it veers from queer representation into appropriation. But since no one else has said a word—not even Vinny or CeCe—I’ve decided to keep my mouth shut. Especially since it’s kind of my fault we’re stuck with this song in the first place.

As I wait for the recording to begin, I can’t help but wonder if I’ve made an enormous mistake not giving original songs to Jeweltones. Even if we don’t have time to write another one on our new deadline schedule, I could have given over one of the dozens of songs I’ve already written. Honestly, even the most amateur among them would feel more heartfelt than lyrics like “Not throwing elbows, we’re crowning reignbows.”

But then, the thought of giving away one of my songs still feels horrific. They feel so personal; how would the others navigate the lyrics? What if they hate them? And how might this mega-producer twist and bend a song to fit a potentially radio-friendly mandate? No. I couldn’t do any of that.

Before I start singing, I wonder if the producer would mind if I suggested some lyrical edits or some melodic shifts. But would that just be stepping on his super successful toes? And would the others just be pissed at me for being difficult and backseat songwriting after refusing to take the driver’s seat?

My mind flashes back to that kiss between Stern and Dea. There are so many fault lines forming in this group, I can barely even track the cracks. Hell, we could probably get an entire album of incredible songs if we were even halfway honest with each other. But how am I supposed to advocate for anything with both hands tied behind my back? It’s up to CeCe to set us free of our secrets now. Or Dea will have to decide to tell the truth about what’s been going on.

These are the thoughts that swirl through my mind as the producer finally cues me to start recording. I just hope some of this turmoil comes out in my vocals instead of making me sound defeated. The only thing keeping me from walking right out of this studio is the same thing keeping me silent: loyalty to CeCe, respect for Vinny, and… whatever I feel for Stern.

I try to tell myself that has to count for something.

Because right now, Jeweltones doesn’t have much else to rely on.

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