Silver Lining by Sandi Toksvig

Author:Sandi Toksvig
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
Published: 2017-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

Act Two

Scene One

The day room. 5.30 p.m.

Hope is pacing around the room. She looks out of the window, then through the door to downstairs. She is in despair. She is now wearing one of the women’s clothing.

HopeFuck, fuck, fuck, this is fucking fuck . . .

MayAccurate but repetitive.

HopeFuck, fuck, fucking fuck . . .

MayShe looks nice in that nightie.

GloriaLooks better on her than it did on Edna.

JuneMaybe we shouldn’t have let her go.

Gloria We can’t keep her tied up.

MaureenIt was quieter.

JuneIt’s like a tiger at the zoo. Is that racist? I didn’t mean it to be. I just meant she’s like a tiger at the . . . you know. I find it so hard to know what to say these days.

HopeUnfuckinbelievable.

MayGloria, you talk to her.

GloriaJune, stop being racist.

MayNo, talk to Hope!

GloriaOh! Hope, we can’t get out and no one is coming so you just need to calm down. Come on . . . what does BAM mean?

Hope What?

GloriaYour blog. You said it’s called BAM.

HopeBlack angry motherfucker.

MayCatchy. Can’t think how you thought of it.

JuneYou don’t look old enough to be a mother.

HopeI am not a mother! I’m angry.

Maureen Why, darling?

Hope Why? Are you kidding me? Look at me. I’m black and I’m a woman. (Looking at June.) When I speak people ask me where I’m from. You oldies have fucked up this country. I’m never gonna get a house or a job or a pension. The fucking flooding is global warming – thanks for that! You think you’re in trouble right now, I been knee deep in that shit all my life. And now! Now my phone’s so wet I’ll never get a fucking signal!

GloriaYou think you have a monopoly on being pissed off? Do you have any idea how many old people die alone each week in this country? I read a survey which said that the UK is officially the loneliest country in Europe.

Hope Well, it is now! Thanks to you old bastards. I voted Remain.

GloriaRemember the story about that woman found dead in her flat in Portsmouth six years after she died?

MaureenThat’s why I came in here. It got too hard on my own. I knew I should go out but sometimes I just didn’t feel like it and before I knew it I was lying on the sofa in front of Cash in the Attic covered in Ryvita crumbs, and realising I hadn’t spoken to another human being for a week.

JuneI like a Ryvita.

HopeYou old people! You don’t know nothing. You got it easy.

MayYou’re right. It was always easy.

Lightning and a clap of thunder.

The weather. 1952. December. Oh, it was bitter out. A great thick layer of cold air but full of fumes.

Hope Why?

May Well, we all burnt coal to keep warm and then there were the new diesel buses. The exhaust choked the air. It smelled like tar. The smog came in so thick people couldn’t drive. They even cancelled concerts because the audience couldn’t see the stage.

Hope Was it scary?

May Well, no one panicked. We just carried on but thousands of people died.

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