Rhapsody of Pain by Nicole Fox

Author:Nicole Fox [Fox, Nicole]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2024-01-24T00:00:00+00:00

27

DEMYEN

I fucked up.

The immediate cause was an unthinking slip of the tongue. A sin for which Clara is now scrubbing off every remnant of our lovemaking in some boiling hot shower.

I knock on the bathroom door one more time. “I’m stepping out. Give you some space.”

I need her trust and her respect, and earning both of those things requires me to step back when all I want is to step in. So, in lieu of getting either of those…

I go get a fucking drink.

I yank on the first pair of sweatpants I can find and shuffle my way toward the kitchen. Before I go down, I check on Willow just in case she happened to hear the drama or the dramatics that preceded it.

Thankfully not. She’s sound asleep in her bed, one of her new teddy bears tucked under her arm and the rest of them snuggled warmly around her. A light snore hums through her nose and manages to make me smile just a tiny bit.

I love this little girl.

I love her mom, too.

But what if my love isn’t enough to overcome my failings? Love doesn’t change the blood running through my veins. It doesn’t erase the mistakes I’ve made again and again. It doesn’t⁠—

I turn away and continue to the kitchen before I let any more dark thoughts compound in my mind. Though I’m growing increasingly tempted to just walk into the lake and let fate decide what happens to me.

I grab from the stash of liquor without bothering to see what I pick. As long as it’s in a glass bottle and pretty damn big, it’ll do. I dangle it from loose fingers at my side as I walk out to the patio, fully determined to overthink my life and drink all my guilt and sorrow away.

Or, at least until I’m unconscious.

“What happened?”

Good fucking hell, I damn near drop the bottle.

Bambi is curled up in one of the overstuffed papasan chairs, cocktail in one hand and her phone in the other. She clicks her phone shut and sets it on the end table next to her, then looks up at me with a tight smile. When I continue to just stand there, she gestures to the chair next to her.

I slump down and immediately pop the bottle open for a deep swig.

Vodka. Yet another lovely reminder of my father. Fuck me.

Bambi waits for me to get comfortable before she repeats the question. “So? What happened.”

“Nothing.”

“Liar.”

I’m too drained to glare at her. “How would you know?”

“Luxurious lakeside cabin up in the mountains where there’s tons of privacy, all the amenities, and no rush to be anywhere or do anything. A soundproofed master bedroom, California king bed, and Clara inside it.” She lifts her glass to me. “You should not be down here. But you are. So… what happened?”

I sigh. It feels like my soul gives up on my body and simply exits through that breath. “I fucked up.”

“You’re gonna have to be more specific.”

“You do remember that I am your boss?” I ask her with a scowl.

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