Rewriting Stella by Tuttle Dan;
Author:Tuttle, Dan;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Red Press Ltd
Published: 2019-11-19T16:00:00+00:00
216.
She woke in sweat with gasp as if her lungs
had stilled themselves throughout aquatic dream.
She bit her teeth upon her outstretched tongue
to stop their chattering. Her breath was steam
that populated air with haunted shapes.
Her stirring stirred up Ai, who whispered, “Stel,
what wrong?” in tone as if with mouth agape.
“It’s just a nightmare,” she replied, “I fell
into a flood and drowned, I lost control.”
Ai took that in. “You study so much, you
have stress, no break,” she said, tried to console
with logic’s explanation. Stel withdrew,
feared fact that visions left her mind unmade,
as stitching holding selves together frayed.
217.
“I think you see you most in charge,” Ai said,
“like do the things correctly then can make
the things you want to happen more, instead
of other things.” Stel heard through word mistakes
a reticence from Ai toward self-made ways,
a doubt that hustle’s real. Stel breathed and paused
to think of energy used every day
to mold her world, how much of it she’d caused
to go her way. It worked. It also crushed.
The high stakes testing Ai lamented too
hung heavy on Stel’s neck, yet clearly mushed
she and Abu to China. Misspent youth
is well-spent youth to some: rejecting friends
for facts accelerates the adults’ ends.
218.
At dawn a songbird covey made alarm,
reminding world to start afresh, a new
chance to exert control on earth, to farm,
turn produce from fields otherwise bamboo.
Ai’s words hung low in Stella’s waking mind,
who wondered if past bent too toward nerd’s deed,
directing so toward triumph she’d defined
herself. (She’d muse for years.) Meanwhile, birdseed
that Ayi’d scattered ’round the grounds brought brood
of wingéd friends from morning call to sills.
At breakfast, three small creatures came and cooed
from Marley’s Exodus, their rounded trills
reminding those familiar everything
would be all right. Stel’s reverie did spring
219.
upon the recollection of those words,
since reggae held a special place back home.
The bongo flava music she once heard
was hip-hop born from Rasta beat and tone.
Between two bites of saturated rice,
a porridge made from last night’s residue
that’s dense in calories to quite suffice
for day’s work in the fields, a lone cuckoo
descended when were absent other fowl.
The mother was delighted, turned to tell
the story of this cunning bird whose foul
adaptive parasitic habits well
ensured survival of her species. “She,”
began the lesson, “undeservedly
220.
lacks stamina to raise her hatchlings, but
must somehow keep her species live. So what
has she devised to get out of this rut?
A strategy thought uncompassionate
exploiting all her less quick-witted peers.
She waits until a mother bird flies free
then zooms down, finds one egg, and slides it clear
beyond the nest edge, drops her own, then flees
and hides again. When mother bird comes back
she’ll nurture equally this foreign egg,
not noticing it’s different from the pack.
And so the cuckoo gets what by own leg
she couldn’t have provided for her own,
except by using others’ stepping stones.”
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