Rarity from the Hollow by Robert Eggleton

Author:Robert Eggleton
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Dog Horn Publishing

Not Entry Level

Dwayne had just finished the installation of the trim around the last of the new windows when the telephone rang. Lacy Dawn and Jenny were shopping — a common occurrence now that Jenny had an SUV and money to spend. He climbed down the step ladder and made it to the phone before the new answering machine picked up.

“Hello.”

“Dwayne, this is DotCom — I mean Bucky. Is Lacy Dawn available? I received your cumulative scores from the shopping trip and yard sale.”

“Bucky, dude, that was months ago. What took so long?”

“The scores were tied up in litigation. A Complainant alleged that I had provided too much direct assistance for the scores to be eligible for entry into the permanent record. I had to submit copies of my back-up tapes to the Scoring Council. I just now received the findings."

"Well, they ain't home. They went shopping again. Call back in a few."

"Dwayne, you and Lacy Dawn have the highest period score ever placed on permanent record and the equivalent of an A- for the yard sale.”

“Cool, but it’s not like beating Miami in football. Did we win a prize or something? I’ll tell them when they get back. See you later.”

“It’s much more important to your planet than you realize.”

“Hold on a minute and I’ll get ready.”

He went to retrieve his most accessible stash because there was no such thing as a short explanation by DotCom and he needed a little help sustaining interest. The cigar box was never too far away and it always contained the cream of the crop. Since he was fourteen, he had never actually been out of marijuana. But, as an adult, he had sometimes been inconvenienced and needed to go to one of several hiding places on the 74 acres they owned. He never kept more than twenty grams in the house — a misdemeanor at most. He found the cigar box under the couch.

This is going to take a while.

“How did you call us anyway?” Dwayne lit his corncob pipe. “You ain’t got no phone.”

“Cell.”

“Okay, shoot,” Dwayne puffed.

“Shoppers have priority life status over other life forms, including protected classes, commercial plants, and animals. You two are now official shoppers from Earth and the first shoppers from a planet formerly ranked very low because it had never shopped.”

“I’m used to ranking low.”

“Children, shopper trainees, and retired shoppers who averaged a minimum life score are protected classes. It depends on the law of the particular planet. All other life forms except shoppers and protected classes are designated as expendable. However, an expendable designation does not require termination on most planets since people die of natural causes or accidents.”

“That's reassuring.”

“Planetary governments are not required to offer support services to expendable life forms, but some do. For example, some governments provide food or shelter. It is a planetary policy outside of universal Law.”

"You can't buy toilet paper with food stamps either."

“Centuries ago, Mr. Prump required the governments of all planets on which shoppers live to submit annual extermination schedules.

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