No-Drama Discipline by Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson

Author:Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson [Siegel, Daniel J.]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
ISBN: 9780345548054
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2014-09-23T00:00:00+00:00

You get the idea. The how matters. At bedtime you might use a threat: “Get in bed now or you won’t get any stories.” Or you could say, “If you get in bed now, we’ll have time to read. But if you don’t get in bed right away, we’ll run out of time and have to skip reading.” The message is the same, but how it’s communicated is very different. It has an entirely different feel. Both hows model ways of talking to others. Both set a boundary. Both deliver the same request. But they feel completely different.

It’s the how that determines what our children feel about us and themselves, and what they learn about treating others. Plus, the how goes a long way toward determining their response in the moment, and how successful we’ll be at helping produce an effective outcome that makes everyone happier. Children usually cooperate much more quickly if they feel connected to us, and when we engage them in a pleasant and playful exchange. It’s the how that determines that. We can be much more effective disciplinarians if our how is respectful, playful, and calm.

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