Memory of WaterFive Kinds of Silence by Shelagh Stephenson

Author:Shelagh Stephenson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
Published: 2013-12-15T00:00:00+00:00

Scene Three

Same room, early next morning. The coffin is there on a low trestle. Teresa is dressed for the funeral, talking on the phone. Catherine is sitting in her dressing gown, staring at the coffin.

Teresa So when you say ‘even later’, you mean what? … I see … No, of course … I understand … Could you ring as soon as – thank you … Bye …

She looks at Catherine, looks at her watch.

They must be snowed in.

Catherine Who?

Teresa The men who carry the coffin. Funeral operatives, he calls them. They still haven’t shown up for work. He’s trying to find some replacements. I wish I knew what he meant, I mean, we don’t want amateurs doing it. It’s supposed to be dignified. You can’t just get anyone in.

Catherine says nothing. She’s staring at the coffin.

Teresa Why don’t you get dressed, or are you thinking of going like that?

Catherine It’s tiny, isn’t it?

Teresa looks.

Teresa She was only small.

Catherine Not as small as that.

Teresa She must have been. They don’t fold them up.

Pause.

Catherine D’you think they make them to measure?

Teresa I suppose they must.

Catherine I suppose so. Yeah. I mean babies’ coffins are tiny, aren’t they? They’re about this big.

Teresa They’d have to be. Otherwise they’d rattle around.

Catherine Mmmm … Unless you used loads of bubble wrap.

Teresa If you want to look at her, you just have to undo a little screw at the top. They gave me a wee screwdriver.

Silence.

I don’t want to, do you?

Catherine Not really, no.

Pause. She turns away from the coffin.

I’m so depressed. I can’t change my flight.

Teresa Forget him. He’s a bastard.

Catherine How do you know?

Teresa You’ve never had a boyfriend who isn’t. You don’t go about it the right way.

Catherine There was that nice Swiss one. He was all right. Did you ever meet him? He was gorgeous, I felt just like Heidi.

Teresa I knew Frank was the right man for me straight away. Because I chose him. I got forty-seven replies. I whittled them down and chose the most compatible.

Catherine Yeah, but the thing is …

Teresa What?

Catherine At the end of the day you still landed up with Frank.

Teresa We’re very, very happy actually. We’re a perfect match. Because we went about it in the right way –

Catherine D’you know who he reminds me of?

Teresa Don’t say it.

Catherine He does though, doesn’t he? It must be a bit depressing. You go through all the palaver of whittling out the dross and you end up married to your dad.

Mary comes in, dressed for the funeral. She looks white and drawn.

Teresa Oh, there you are. You look lovely.

Pause. Mary looks at the coffin.

How was the hotel?

Mary Fine.

Teresa watches her looking at the coffin.

Mary Sorry. It’s a bit of a shock. Brings you up a bit short, doesn’t it …?

Catherine Everyone’s snowed in. There’s no one to carry it –

Teresa That’s no reason to still be in your dressing gown –

Catherine OK, OK, I’ll get dressed, I’m going, don’t worry.

She goes out. Mary looks round the room, obviously searching for something.

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