Max's Picnic Book by Halley Max; Benton Benjamin;

Author:Halley, Max; Benton, Benjamin;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hardie Grant Books (UK)
Published: 2021-01-19T00:00:00+00:00

Note: Most of this is stuff I have accumulated from charity (thrift) shops over the years. When you embark on a more organised picnic like this, take your car’s picnic kitbag with you too, leaving behind any duplicates. Might as well start the day armed to the teeth!

In this fantasy land, we have brought together a selection of figures from the annals of criminal history to demonstrate how, when it comes to picnicking, we must put a little more creativity into thinking on our feet. And in the case of Joaquín ‘El Chapo’ Guzmán, Sandra Ávila Beltrán, Griselda Blanco and Pablo Escobar, where we see a crime, they see an opportunity – that’s why these guys became so rich and powerful. I’m not encouraging anyone to start dealing drugs, unless they’ve got a shoe-in at Glaxo or something, but I am saying that to picnic like a kingpin, we could all learn something from this group. An ability to look at something, see its potential, and exploit it, is a feather in the cap of the picnicker.

It goes without saying that these people are absolutely terrifying but, damn, do they know how to do a bit of PR. El Chapo is often viewed (seemingly with little evidence) as a Robin Hood sort of character for his enrichment of local communities around his home, while Pablo Escobar does genuinely appear to have done a great deal for the poor in Colombia, particularly in Medellín. Figuring his great strength was the support of the people, he built schools, churches, hospitals, sports grounds and social housing before entering politics. I feel a little more potted history is needed before we dive in. Griselda Blanco was the ‘Godmother of Cocaine’, with an empire spanning most of the US. She was a certified badass, and not always in a good way – she was credited with slaying a large number of her enemies, and some innocent bystanders too.

Sandra Avila Beltran counts as cartel aristocracy. Born into the family of a senior cartel member, she married into a Mexican and then a Colombian drug cartel. It is no wonder she was widely thought to be the direct link between El Chapo’s Sinaloa cartel and the Colombian Norte Del Valle cartel.

OK, now we’re all up to speed, be prepared – in this trip around my head, we will go on to see El Chapo and the gang turn what would appear (and in fact, is) a few flasks of cold soup and a massive sausage, into a really fun and utterly delicious picnic.

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