Maggie's California Diaries by Ann M. Martin

Author:Ann M. Martin
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781504052672
Publisher: Open Road Media
Published: 2017-07-27T00:00:00+00:00

Friday 7/24

10:02 A.M.

GOAL: FORGET ABOUT food. Don’t eat.

Called in sick. Staying home from work today.

Nervous about date.

Nervous about Mom and benefit.

Nervous about date.

Nervous about writing new song for Vanish.

Nervous about date.

Tried on skirt. It almost fits.

2:30 P.M.

Why can’t Pilar mind her own business?

Mom and I were working on the benefit in her study. Pilar came in to see what we wanted for lunch. Mom said she’d have an omelette. I said I didn’t want anything, that I wasn’t hungry.

“That’s not healthy,” Pilar said. “You’re a growing girl! You have to eat.”

“I don’t want anything,” I repeated.

Pilar glared at me and told my mother, “Mrs. Blume, it is not healthy.”

“Well, you know these young people, Pilar,” Mom said. “They like to be thin. It’s fashionable.” She smiled at me and said we should go shopping for a dress for the benefit. I reminded her of all the work we still have to do if there is going to be a benefit. And that I’d rather shop for a dress next week. (My new goal is to fit comfortably into a size two by then.)

I made loads of phone calls for Mom.

Better go back downstairs. If I’m with Mom, maybe she won’t start drinking.

4:09 P.M.

I was too late. Mom started drinking at lunch. My staying home didn’t make any difference on that score. After lunch she said she was tired and went to her room. I worked on the benefit alone. I only need three more items for the auction and we can have the program printed up. Hmm. Someone has to write all those items up. Better call the HCA office and see who can do it.

10:16 P.M.

Lost another pound.

I’ve reached my goal.

The skirt fits.

Why am I so nervous?

NERVES

Wired.

Tightly wound wound tight?

And bound

To thoughts

That imprison.

My heart can’t take wing

While I am bound

Here

On the ground

Tightly wound

© Maggie Blume

Another depressing poem by Maggie Blume.

Whatever made me think I could write poetry?

I’m going to resign from the staff of Inner Vistas when we go back to school. How could I have thought I’d be editor someday?

I feel like I’ll never write a good poem or song lyric again.

I’m a failure.

I can understand why Dad is disappointed in me. I’m disappointing myself.

I’ve decided not to wear my new skirt. It fits, but it makes me look fat. Amalia is going to come over tomorrow to help me pick out something from my closet.

Good night.

Bad night.

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