Maggie May (NHB Modern Plays) by Frances Poet

Author:Frances Poet [Poet, Frances]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Nick Hern Books

GIVE US A LAUGH, JO

JO. Hello, Maggie.

MAGGIE (internal). Brain signal. Face. Smile. Recognition.

Hospital. Visitor. Best friend.

What are you doing here?

JO. Gordon phoned me. You’ve had an infection?

MAGGIE. Waterworks. Nice of Gordon to tell the neighbourhood about the intricate workings of me bladder.

JO. I’m not ‘the neighbourhood’. I’m your best pal.

MAGGIE. –

JO. I were going to ask you how you are but you look a damn sight better than Gordon. You gave him a fright.

MAGGIE. He got off lightly compared with our Michael. He were the last flippin’ person I wanted to see me in that state. Couldn’t have planned a better way to confirm his worst fears about me diagnosis.

JO. But it weren’t the dementia were it?

MAGGIE. Yes and no. Alzheimer’s means me brain is juggling two balls in one hand but wang in another ball and they all come crashing down. The infection in me urinary whatsit were a ball too many. Brought on a delirium they call it. Dose of antibiotics and a couple of nights’ rest and, bingo, I’m mi’sen again.

JO. Thank God for doctors.

MAGGIE. Oh aye, allus dreamt of snagging yersen a doctor, haven’t you, Jo Stark?

JO. Haven’t given up hope yet. Why do you think I’m here?

They share a laugh.

MAGGIE. We fell out, you and me.

JO. You remember that do you?

MAGGIE. I can feel the knot of it in me belly.

JO. Memory like a bloody elephant, you have. Only plus side I can see of this disease of yours is that you might not remember every bloody cross word.

MAGGIE. I don’t remember the words. Just the feeling of it. I remember that it hurt.

JO. Hurt me an’ all.

MAGGIE. Sorry about that.

JO. I’m sorry too.

MAGGIE. Give us a laugh, Jo.

JO. Have you heard the one about the woman, call her Maggie, who prayed to God: Dear Lord, please make me win the lottery. The next day Maggie begs the Lord again: Please make it so I win the lottery, Lord! The next day, Maggie again prays: Please, please, dear Lord, make me win the lottery!

Suddenly she hears a voice from above: Maggie, would you kindly bob into the shop and buy yoursen a lottery ticket.

MAGGIE. You can do better than that.

JO. Not sure I can. How are you?

MAGGIE. Better. Though I washed me purse in the sink earlier instead of me hands.

JO. Oh dear. I do stupid things like that all the time. Found me remote control in the fridge!

MAGGIE. Do you forget the kettle has a button to boil water? Do things in cupboards stop existing for you when the doors are closed? Do you forget whole conversations?

JO. I forgot our Janey’s birthday. I forgot the name Prince Philip the other day. Just gone. Had to call him the Queen’s bloke. It’s the curse of age, isn’t it?

MAGGIE. No, Jo. That’s not what’s wrong with me. I’m not forgetful. It’s not old age. I have brain disease. Would you visit a friend with stomach cancer and say, ‘Oh yeah, I get tummy aches an’ all.’ No you bloody wouldn’t.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.