Losing You by HB Jasick

Author:HB Jasick [Jasick, HB]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-12-02T18:30:00+00:00

Chapter Fifteen

Tabitha

“BUT WHY DOES IT HAVE to be unicorns?” Steve whines from the kitchen.

He’s being a big baby after Beth and I sent him into the nursery earlier to see if there were any party supplies in there. We knew there weren’t, but we also knew he hadn’t seen inside yet. The girly squeal, accompanied by the swearing, is still looping in our minds and making us giggle. He’s been pouting and shooting us dirty looks all morning.

“I love what my brother did. I can’t wait to tell him later.”

“He’s coming?” I try to keep my question sounding casual, but inside I’m panicking.

“Um, yeah. Why wouldn’t he come? He’s been in this more than the rest us.”

Steve nods along with Beth’s words.

“I just thought baby showers were a thing just for the women. I didn’t realize guys were attending too.”

“Where do you think I was going to go?” Steve asks.

I shrug then turn to finish helping Beth set out the finger foods, as she orders Steve with the decorations. I suddenly don’t want to go to my own baby shower. I’m okay with Steve or my dad attending, but I’m not sure I’m ready to face Brandon yet. It’s been a week since we kissed amongst the unicorns, and we haven’t spoken once. I skipped class the day after that and spent that time feeling sorry for myself in bed. My roommates are clueless as to what went down between us. I didn’t want to do anything to embarrass the situation even more, and he’s Beth’s brother, so I doubt she would want to hear about her brother kissing anyone. She used to hate when girls fawned all over her brother back in Monroe. So I kept it all to myself.

I feel embarrassed, confused, and a little ashamed of myself. I know it’s not cheating. I’m not being unfaithful to Mathew because I’m falling for Brandon. Mathew would want me to move on, but how soon is too soon? I loved Mathew with my entire heart. Isn’t there a mourning period I should be adhering to? I just feel like maybe falling in love with someone else is completely disrespectful.

But is it love that I’m feeling for Brandon? I might just feel grateful for everything he’s done for me since the funeral. I’m not so sure I’m not just projecting my feelings of gratitude and loneliness on the guy that’s still here. That could be it, except I’m not attracted to Steve, and he lives under the same roof as me.

He said he loved me. I think that’s the most confusing thing of all. He said he loved me, that he’s always loved me. I love him too, but I don’t know to what degree. It could be the way I love Beth, or Steve, or even my parents. I’m still in love with Mathew, so how can I feel the same for someone else?

“Queenie?” Steve breaks me out of my head. He’s holding up a box of streamers in various pastel colors.

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