In the Dark by Claire Allan

Author:Claire Allan [Allan, Claire]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2022-11-14T17:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twenty-Six

Nora

The buzzing is back in my ears and it is incessant. It claws at me. Crawls through my brain. I feel as if there is an insect either trying to burrow its way in, or scrape its way out.

I cannot make sense of it. I can’t make sense of the words I have just read. Talk of eyes for eyes, and Daisy and finding her but losing Luca, and I don’t know what it means or who sent it.

Does it mean Daisy could still be alive? Does it mean I could still find her? But why talk of a tooth for a tooth? I know that’s a biblical reference – of revenge and blame and guilt. For the longest time I’d have said that couldn’t be relevant to me. But this morning’s memories, if that’s what they are, sit heavy on my shoulders.

I can’t escape them. I can’t escape any of this. Even if now I decided to call off this stupid documentary. Even if now I did what Brendan always said I should do and kept my head down and my focus on Luca, would it make a difference? Is it too late?

But God forgive me because if there’s a chance that I can find her, then I have to take the risk with Luca.

That realisation comes at me like a punch to the stomach, and I am winded by the force of it. All these words are racing around my head, and I’m aware that DI Bradley and DS King are looking at me for a reaction. I’m aware that Izzy and Tom are looking at me for the same, and I’m aware there is a camera recording these moments. One that I won’t be able to run from.

‘I should phone Brendan,’ I stutter, and as I lift my phone and switch it back on, my hand is shaking. All of me is shaking. This is shock, I think. I can remember it from before. The reality that something is very wrong indeed is sinking in. I can’t hide it, or pretend it isn’t happening. It’s bigger than Brendan being cross with me. He needs to know, and he needs to know now – whatever the consequences.

‘Do you want me to speak to him for you?’ DS King asks as my hands struggle to scroll to my husband’s name. I think it might scare him but I realise he’s probably already scared and angry, and I don’t want these people gathered to listen to him berate me for not answering before. So I nod and hand my phone to DS King, the movement jolting my sore hand and making me wince.

‘Once we speak to Brendan, we’ll get that seen to,’ DI Bradley says as DS King taps at my phone and I hear the call connect.

I both want and need Brendan to be here. I want the comfort of him, but I realise that comfort is probably lost to me now. Now I will see fear in his eyes that our son could be at risk, perhaps contempt that I’m the person who made that happen.

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