If This Book Exists, You're in the Wrong Universe--A John, Dave, and Amy Novel by Jason Pargin

Author:Jason Pargin
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: St. Martin's Publishing Group

Me

I was heading back to the vision place when my phone rang, displaying an unfamiliar number. I normally don’t take strange calls—you never know when it’s a stalker or, well, anyone else—but this seemed like a day for making an exception.

I answered with, “Who’s this?”

“Uh, is this David?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“This is Griff White.”

“Who?”

“The bus driver who lost an eye to a demon last night?”

“Oh. Oh yeah. Uh, glad you’re doing okay.”

“I am not. I’m calling you from the hospital. A detective gave me your number.”

“Oh, okay. Yeah, the monster, we blew it up. There was nothing left of it. I guess we should have let you guys know so you’d rest easier.”

“You did not.”

“Yeah, like I said, we should have.”

“No, I’m saying you did not blow up the creature.”

I came to a stop on the sidewalk. “What do you mean? Did it come after someone else?”

“I believe so.”

“The detective told you that?”

“No, sir, nobody knows about it, as far as I can tell.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I can still see out of the eye it took. I’d have told you that, too, if you’d asked.”

“What? You can? How can you still see out of it?”

“You ask ‘how’ about that but not about the existence of the creature itself? The answer is the same: It’s some kind of devilry. It doesn’t want body parts, it wants to torment us. The other man who lost an eye, the old gentleman with his johnson out, he died. Had a heart attack before he even got to the hospital. Ranting about seeing through two bodies at once.”

“Tell me what you saw. Through the other eye, I mean. As much as you can remember.”

“It was inside your banjo box, dark, noises from all around. Then there was a pair of hands reaching for me, or it, and suddenly, it was in somebody’s car, with a bunch of arguing white kids all dressed up in black. One of ’em pulls out a book, and then somehow I was in a prison. My eye, or you know, the thing with my eyeball in its belly, went after a prisoner, a skinny bald guy. At that point, I got so worked up and scared the nurses came in and sedated me. Don’t know what happened after that. I’d have preferred to have stayed awake and tried to gather more information for you, but I suppose it’s my fault for losing my composure.”

“Where is it right now? The eye?”

“Don’t know. It’s all dark. Hear occasional noises, nothing I can make out.”

“But you’re sure it’s still alive and intact?”

“Feels like it. Just think it’s someplace dark.”

The inside of the egg, maybe? God, I hope not.

“Well, that’s not good.”

“I could’ve told you all this last night if somebody’d thought to ask me.”

“Yeah, you said that. We’ll try to find this thing again, and, uh, if we can recover your eyeball, maybe the doctors can put it back in?”

“Not sure I want it back, to be quite honest. Getting old already feels like several of your body parts are haunted.

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