How to Wed a Courtesan--An entertaining Regency romance by Madeline Martin

Author:Madeline Martin [Martin, Madeline]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Harlequin
Published: 2021-04-01T17:38:25+00:00

Chapter Sixteen

Evander had never fully realised the extent of his selfishness until that moment. It wasn’t just that she had to become an opera dancer to put food on the table for herself and then could not find a respectable husband. The truth was so, so much worse.

She had been trying to save their daughter’s life.

He had been amassing a fortune while Lottie had simply needed enough to cover a doctor’s fees. More than that, she had needed him.

Lily.

His daughter.

God.

He had left her with child. To fend for herself.

He wanted to say something, but his throat ached with grief. Tears blurred his vision and he ground the heels of his hands into his eyes. He was the worst kind of monster for what he had done. No wonder she could not forgive him.

He would never be able to forgive himself.

‘She sounds like the most amazing child,’ he said softly. It seemed surreal, the idea of having had a little girl, of having never had the opportunity to meet her. To love her.

‘She was.’ Lottie gave a sad smile.

He would never have the chance to know their daughter the way Lottie had. And it was his fault.

Realisation dawned on Evander. ‘When you saw me at Comlongon it was nearly the one-year mark of when she...’

Lottie nodded.

He held out his hands, palms up, helpless. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘Because I was so lost in my own grief,’ she said. ‘Because I couldn’t bring myself to actually say the words aloud. And because I was angry. That’s why I slapped you. Seeing you standing there amid your towering fortune when I had struggled, had been forced to endure such pain on my own.’

Regret crushed in on him. ‘It was my fault that she—’ The thick ache in his throat cut off his words.

‘No, Evander. Even if you had been with us, you couldn’t have helped her live.’ Lottie stared at the painting of the cottage and slowly closed her eyes. ‘Nothing would have helped.’

‘But I could have been there for you.’ He pushed off the small stool and came to her, longing with a powerful poignancy to reach for her. ‘You wouldn’t have had to endure it on your own.’

‘Sarah was with me after...’ Lottie opened her eyes and looked up at him. ‘She’s been with me since the opera house.’

Evander nodded, stepping back. His mind was still spinning at what she had confessed, and what had originally felt surreal now sank in with horrifying clarity.

Emotions lashed at him—a soul-deep sorrow at losing the daughter he would never know and an ugly, bitter rage with himself.

Lottie had begged him all those years ago not to leave. Wealth had never mattered to her—not as it had to him. And while he had been dreaming of grand manors with gilded place-settings, and fine jewels sparkling at her throat, she had been living in hell, doing whatever it took to get by.

‘It should have been me,’ Evander said through gritted teeth. ‘I should have been the one who was with you.

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