Grab Happy by Elissa Yancey

Author:Elissa Yancey
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Elissa Yancey
Published: 2020-10-24T00:00:00+00:00

Real Talk

Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

Family relationships are complicated. While some siblings grow into deep friendships, others do not. Families with members spread across the country have additional challenges when it comes to communication – that was certainly the case with mine. We fell into common conflicts: in-town caregivers vs out-of-town siblings, parents with young children vs parents with older children, siblings with strong parental relationships vs siblings with more strained connections, siblings with higher incomes vs siblings living paycheck to paycheck.

Still, gerontologist Kathy McGrew, who has spent her career studying how and why people make decisions about their lives, contends that open and honest conversations that include all family members can offer valuable insights and set clear paths for group and individual decision-making. She has helped develop a whole kit for families to balance ideal outcomes with realistic expectations when it comes to aging and caregiving. Here’s a small sample of critical questions she says to consider:

What does a comfortable and happy end of life look like for each member of the family?

What support can each member of the family offer when it comes to caregiving? (Support can include time, money, transportation or even medical or facility research.)

How can the family balance what each member has to offer in ways that all agree are fair and equitable?

What kind of communication plan makes the most sense for each family member and how will others pledge to communicate?

What is the plan for dealing with conflict? Is there a go-to neutral party that everyone trusts? Are there any ways to minimize back-channel talk among multiple family members that may limit honest sharing?

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