Fangs a Million by Tammie Painter

Author:Tammie Painter
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: fantasy, humor, cozy mystery, mystery
Publisher: Daisy Dog Media

22 - WARDROBE MALFUNCTION

PEOPLE HURRIEDLY MADE room for the Kailin to take a front-row seat, or well, a front row space, since unicorns don’t really sit, do they? Fergus’s attention was drawn to her like a hummingbird to sugar water. He had been fluidly trotting a circle around Conrad, but at the sight of the Kailin, his movements turned clunky. His whole body tensed and, as if several dwarves weren’t jumping over and scampering under him, he held himself as nobly as possible.

With a few barely noticeable hand signals, Darius Dumble cued the dwarves to wrap up their tumbling and form a line. Having worked with the Dumbles for years (whether they liked it or not) Fergus caught the hand motions and told Conrad to follow his lead. He and Conrad then squeezed themselves into the center of the dwarf lineup. After much dwarvish grumbling at the equine intrusion, the row bowed in unison to their honored guest.

But this wasn’t enough of a gesture for Fergus. He rose up from the brief bow, which was really just a tipping of the head for him, and stepped forward. The audience tittered, some made cat calls about the Kailin’s knight in furry armor, but the Kailin, although her eyes were fixed on Fergus, remained as aloof as ever, giving no sign that she’d noticed the patchwork wig covering him from horn to hip. I could only hope that she, like the audience, assumed the wig was a costume he’d donned for the Dumbles’ act. After all, they’d gotten Conrad to wear that silly hat, so why not a unicorn in a blonde, body-length wig?

I thought Fergus might just pull it off. That he wouldn’t embarrass himself in front of the Kailin, and that he’d be back to his normal shimmering white color by the time he could convince her to reschedule their date.

I thought wrong.

See, Fergus was bowing to the Kailin, but he wasn’t executing a simple tip of the head. He was doing his full formal bow. This involves curling his left front leg under himself and kneeling on it while extending his front leg forward. He then tucks his chin and lowers his head to the point where the tip of his horn almost touches the ground.

Any other day this move’s only challenge is him getting back up without stumbling (and without dropping the spare cigarette lodged behind his ear).

But this wasn’t any other day.

The wig missed the memo that it was supposed to stay in place as Fergus’s body tilted forward. Instead, the wig obeyed the laws of gravity and slid forward along the slope of Fergus’s back. The rear end of the wig then flopped up to Fergus’s withers as the front portion bunched up on his head. When Fergus stood, the wig shifted and ended up hanging askew from his horn.

Again, no one needed to know this wasn’t part of the Dumbles’ clown act. Fergus was a quick thinker, a seasoned performer, and could have just played

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.