Fading Fame by Pam Munter

Author:Pam Munter
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: play, short stories, female author
Publisher: Adelaide Books Publishers

It was all too much and had been for a long time. It felt like a struggle to gain an inch of space from the sadness. She could feel her personal tempo slowing, a response to relationships gone bad, the lost career opportunities, the onset of aging. She could put on a brave face for her friends and especially for her audiences. It was so much work. There didn’t seem to be a solution. Her career, her identity, her life - all in the toilet.

Three days earlier, she had painstakingly crafted a handwritten note to Annie, thanking her for her support and her friendship. She asked for her forgiveness, knowing her decision would bring grief to her good friend. There would be no note to her hypercritical mother, however. Susannah imagined she would be glad to be rid of her inept, rebellious daughter. There was never any energy to confront her and she certainly wouldn’t do it now. She wouldn’t blame her mother for ridiculing her talent, her dreams and even her appearance. Not at this point. Too late. It wasn’t about others’ expectations now. Susannah had outgrown her life. Used herself up. All roads out were blocked or unpalatable. Somewhere in the struggle to stay afloat, she had lost herself.

For those three days, she stayed planted on the couch, reading her old writings. Some of the college stuff wasn’t bad, she thought. It brought her momentarily back to the person she once felt herself to be – creative, alive, curious, adventurous. That was another Susannah, another world. What happened to her? It had slipped away. Forever. Was it really ever there? Had she sabotaged herself? It didn’t matter. It was almost time. This would be the day.

True to her nature, she had taken the time to pay her bills and pick up her clothes from the cleaners around the corner. If nothing else, she had a strong sense of organization, a compulsive planner. It was essential that everything had been completed. No unfinished business.

She walked over to the occupied cat tree and lovingly stroked the long fur of each one.

“I’ll always love you guys. You’ll be fine. Don’t worry.” She moved to her desk and pulled out a Post-It note. She printed her message in a bold hand, in ink.

“There are two cats in apartment 16B. Please take care of them.” She folded the paper and placed it in her shirt pocket, included her apartment key, then securely buttoned the pocket flap. There were no tears, no hesitation, no other options.

She opened the window that overlooked the deserted W. 86th Street, smiling for an instant at how clever she had been to ask the super last week to wax the frame so it would glide smoothly. She looked forward to the cool breeze that would propel her quickly to the ground and briefly considered how it would make a poignant New York metaphor. She took a deep breath and, in an instant, the window frame was empty.

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