Emma's Diary by Giselle Renarde

Author:Giselle Renarde
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: lesbian love, lesbian sex, lesbian fiction, women in love, retroactive jealousy, sapphic sensual fiction, anxiety in relationships, leaving husband for another woman, lesbian diary, relationship insecurities
Publisher: Giselle Renarde

November 12th

Moving day.

Not for me, but I’m nervous about it. Very nervous about it.

We got snow yesterday—mammoth snowfall, can’t remember the last time we got one like this in November—and I know what Bonnie’s like. She’s strong, and she wants people to know it. So, even though she hired movers, she’s going to lend a hand, and with those stairs going down the front of her property I can’t help worrying she’ll lose her grip and slide and end up under a bookcase.

I wish one day would go by without me worrying about things I can’t control. I’ve already asked her to please, if something seems unsafe, please don’t do it. There’s no sense putting yourself at risk.

Still, I know she’ll power through. And what if she’s crushed under one of her heavy antiques? What if she dies?

Yesterday was equally anxiety-provoking. Bonnie had a dermatology appointment to look at some bumps that were concerning her. Her dermatologist just happens to be a five-minute walk from my place, so she popped in real quick, while I was fixing a pot of soup, to say her appointment was at three. She’d be back by four at the latest.

Just as she was about to leave for the appointment, her phone rang. It was Jim. I just knew. Because she picked up, she said hello, and then she didn’t say anything for a long time. But she also didn’t hang up. She listened for so long that it could easily have been a telemarketer—you know how sometimes you can’t get a word in, or it’s a recording and you’re wondering how many people fall for this scam?—but after not speaking for a long time, she said: I think they’ll be okay.

Cryptic stuff like that.

I walked into the bathroom and looked for something to clean, to give Bonnie privacy, when what I really wanted to do was shout into the phone: Leave us alone! Stop calling!

After that mostly one-sided conversation, Bonnie hung up and said to me: That was about tomorrow. Moving day. The movers can’t start until 9:30, so I’m going to go over early to pack things up.

How am I meant to respond? I wanted to cry. Maybe that’s stupid. She’s moving her stuff out of her marital home and into this new apartment of hers, and still I feel like it’s all just going to crumble in my hands.

Will this relationship ever stop feeling like fairy gold?

Once Bonnie had left for her appointment, I jumped in the shower, shaved what was hairy, used that soap she likes, and then dressed up in some of the sexiest gear I own: a push-up bra that’s this shiny red fabric with black mesh overtop. It’s the most sultry piece of lingerie in my collection. But the black lace thong is a close second, and I paired that with black stockings—the kind with elastic at the top so they cling to your thighs.

I hadn’t felt so seductive in years.

Once I was ready for her, I watched out the window.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.