Don't Take the Bait to Escalate : Conflict Is Inevitable. Being a Jerk Is Optional (9781684512881) by Payleitner Jay

Author:Payleitner, Jay
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Published: 2022-03-15T00:00:00+00:00

Application

You have the power to start conflicts and the power to stop them. But sometimes your greatest power is actually stopping conflicts before they even start. That’s especially the right choice when any conflict revolves around a rare or once-in-a-lifetime event.

I know of too many lifelong hostilities between family members and longtime friends that began during times of high stress, fear, confusion, or loss. Those relationships were completely non-adversarial until one individual made a remark or took action without thinking it through. But here’s the application of this strategy: The first thoughtless remark didn’t doom the relationship. It was the response to that remark that escalated the spark into a decades-long conflagration. The individual undergoing the stressful situation—the bride, grieving parent, or victim—wasn’t given the benefit of the doubt, and a feud that never needed to happen was born.

Many conflicts could be avoided altogether if only we took the time to discern what the offending party is currently going through. Especially when we’re a little off our game, we all say or do dumb things we regret. Wouldn’t it be nice if the person or persons on the receiving end of our blunder readily let us off the hook?

At weddings and funerals and everyplace in between, let’s all pledge to try to choose our words more carefully while at the same time realizing that others may be having difficulty choosing their own words. The Bible confirms the difficulty of taming the tongue.

No human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. (James 3:8–10)

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