Dirty Spanish by Juan Caballero

Author:Juan Caballero
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ulysses Press
Published: 2021-11-02T00:00:00+00:00

Accessories Accesorios

Sex today seems to involve all sorts of preparation and specialized equipment. Gone are the good ol’ days when you just dragged your smelly ass down to the next hut, fucked like cavemen, and had a baby nine months later that probably died of hypothermia. Now you gotta have perfume, satin sheets, birth control, a Barry White album, a mirror on the ceiling, at least 10 minutes of foreplay, and a vibrator for reinforcement.

Are you on the pill?

¿Estás tomando la píldora?

Man, I miss my ex, who had an IUD.

Como echo a menos a la ex que tenía “DIU.” | …la “T.” | …el ancla. (literally, “the anchor”)

Do you have…?

¿Tienes…?

a condom

un preservativo

a rubber

un impermeable | un forro (S.Cone)

any piercings

perforaciones

an STD

una venérea

You can also use this to call someone “a walking STD.”

handcuffs

las esposas | las chachas (CenAm)

Shit! The condom broke!

¡Mierda, se quebró el forro!

Reach me a…

Alcánzame un/una…

Wanna try a…?

¿Quisieras probar con un/una…?

I love using a…

Me encanta usar un/una…

dildo

consolador

Consolador literally means “consolation,” like for not having dick on hand when you want it.

vibrator

vibrador

tickling cockring

párpado de carba

This glorious phrase literally denotes the eyelashes of a goat. Isn’t Spanish awesome?

blindfold

venda

gag

mordaza

paddle

paleta

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