Deep Fake by Lars Emmerich

Author:Lars Emmerich [Emmerich, Lars]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Lars Emmerich

The session with Dr. Kane goes well. It’s daunting to think about reliving all of those godawful moments I’ve been repressing for all this time, but once I get over the fear of experiencing the pain and just do the work, the insights come quickly.

I never look forward to the sessions but I usually feel hopeful and optimistic at the end of them. The whole trick is to be willing to let the fire consume you entirely, rather than to constantly struggle to avoid feeling the fire’s heat. If you just let it burn, burn, burn like a motherfucker, it only lasts for a few seconds. And then you can see clearly into the situation. You can watch it like an adult, learn its lessons, understand where you’ve misunderstood important things about yourself, and allow your mind to see a broader truth about the whole thing.

So maybe you can stop living every minute of your day trying to prove that you’re not a bad person because you allowed your father to beat your mother to death when you were a six-year-old, for example.

So far I’ve learned that I have a ridiculous amount of courage. That’s mostly because I’ve spent so much time trying to prove myself to myself, and the external threats haven’t really seemed as daunting as the threat of discovering that I am the person I’ve always been afraid of being.

I’ve also learned that I am a complete pain in the ass sometimes, mostly to myself. I suppose that’s not really a surprise to anyone, myself included.

Something is shifting inside of me, though, and it feels as though there’s now a beacon shining dimly in the dark distance, guiding me in from the cold.

Except where Brock is concerned. It’s still not making sense. It’s still not right. What he did seems so out of character that it makes me doubt my judgement about his character in the first place. Was he acting? Aspiring to something he knew he wasn’t? Will I ever find closure here? Will I ever have confidence to start over?

And with the CIA and Russia and China and Germany and whoever else looking for the password and the key to this fucking Capstone thing, will it ever matter again how I feel on the inside?

There’s a knock on the door to my ‘private office.’ Bob’s square jaw, friendly gray eyes, and five o’clock shadow appear when I answer the knock. “Grange needs you,” he says. “Right away.”

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.