Dear Wendy by Ann Zhao
Author:Ann Zhao
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends
CHAPTER 32
Joe with an E
JO
âJo? Jo. Joanna? Joanna Middle Name Ephron!â
âItâs Olivia,â I say, not looking up from my phone, where Iâm busy making Wanda posts. When Wendy answered a very oddly specific question about snoring a couple of days ago, I realized that I have a lot of oddly specific questions that I have yet to answer, and I need to catch up.
âWhat?â Lianne says.
âMy middle name.â
âOh,â Lianne says. âJo, can you please pay an ounce of attention to me?â
I finally look up. âYeah, whatâs up?â
Lianne is standing in front of me, holding up her phone, open to its lock screen. She points to the time: 8:26 P.M.
âYouâve been on your phone for two hours,â Lianne says. âDonât you have work to do?â
âI am doing work,â I say. âItâs just Wanda work.â
âI mean real work,â Lianne says, not looking impressed.
I know what she means. And, yeah, maybe I do have a reading to do for WGST 110, and an essay to write for my sociology class, and coding to do for my CS class, and some vocab to study for Spanish, but right now, I do not want to do any of those things.
âSince when are you trying to make sure I get all my work done?â I ask. âIsnât that usually Katyâs job?â
I donât usually rely on my roommates to keep me from procrastinating, but sometimes, Katy does take it upon herself to do just that. Her interventions are rude but necessary.
Lianne sighs. âOkay, fine, Katy texted me to make sure you were being productive.â
âAnd you didnât want to disappoint her?â I say. âHow very interesting.â
She shakes her head. âJo, you really do love jumping to conclusions, donât you?â
âItâs my favorite pastime.â
She sighs. âTake a break from the Wanda stuff. You can make fun of Wendy later.â
I pretend to be offended. âExcuse me. I wasnât making fun of Wendy at all. I was writing up my own posts.â
Iâm not lying. I havenât been posting often enough for the quantity of messages Iâm now getting. I have tons of unread DMs and submissions in my anonymous form that I have yet to post about. And okay, maybe I did get a little carried away with how much detail Iâm putting in some of these responses, but itâs all for the overall effect.
âEven so,â Lianne says, âyou do have to admit that youâve gotten a little consumed by this account.â
âThat is not true,â I say. âI am consumed by many other things. Like classesââ
âYou know thatâs a lie.â
ââand the Dianasââ
âYouâve literally had one meeting.â
ââand watching reality televisionââ
âJesus Christ, Jo.â
ââand Iâm just saying, you waste just as much time on dating apps as I do on my Wanda account.â
âThatâs just plainly untrue. I havenât even touched Bumble or Hinge since that disastrous attempt with Alicia.â
Okay. I think she wins. âFine, Iâll do homework now.â
âGood.â
âAfter I finish this post.â
âYouâre fucking kidding me.â
But Lianne is not Katy, so she lets me do it anyway, and itâs only after I save the file that she says, âWait, your initials spell JOE with an E?â
Oh.
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