Can You Keep a Secret? by J.M. Doe

Author:J.M. Doe
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: True Story. Biography. Middle Eastern Culture.
Publisher: Indigo River Publishing
Published: 2020-05-04T21:19:39+00:00

Reunion in Jeddah

I was in a trance;

I could not talk as I lay on the cold marble landing of the stairway.

Once my daughter was kidnapped, I realized that returning to Saudi Arabia could be a very dangerous situation in which I wouldn’t have control or protection. When I had first gone to there, an American company had sponsored me, providing some clout if something happened to me. Now I was on the outside looking in, and the only way to see my daughter was to go back in again, alone. What security would I have? From my prior experience in Saudi Arabia, and based on that of others, I didn’t really know. I knew it was a very strange and mysterious country. It was, in many ways, an ancient culture with ancient, ingrained beliefs.

Abdul had the freedom to let me into his country or not. He also had the ability to force me out. The State Department gave lip service, but to get a commitment from them was impossible. Their standard response was, “Unfortunately, the frequency of international abductions of children by parents continues to rise every year. Our organization strives to raise public awareness, counsel victims, and works on improving relationships to aid. If we can be of further assistance . . .”

Our country wouldn’t risk upsetting the Saudi government, and vice versa.

There were just so many stories, some with horrendous outcomes. What would happen to me if I returned to Saudi Arabia? What consequences would I face? What if I disappeared? Should I just give up? Could a mother really do this? If I was responsible for a family in the States, then maybe I would’ve had to stay for them. But Aisha was my only child, my blood. I had brought her into the world, and I was not going to let her live her life without her mother’s presence. She had been there long enough without me. I couldn’t stand to hear her sad, pitiful cries on the phone, sobbing as she tried to catch her breath, yet doing her best to be so brave. Poor little soul. “I am so sorry,” I would tell her.

I would have to be brave for her, although I was sick with fear about what could happen to me. I didn’t know what to do, what to expect, and who to trust. Was I being too paranoid?

During the months after Aisha was kidnapped, Abdul and I talked many times about our relationship, about how to get back together and make it work again. Placating Abdul, in spite of the abuse I had endured, was the only way I would ever be able to see my daughter again. I taped every phone call with him and my daughter. These tapes are still in my possession and are still painful to listen to. Abdul wanted me to come live in Saudi Arabia with him and Aisha. He “loved” me. Aisha cried so much for her mommy. Bottom line: if I wanted to see her again, I knew what I had to do.

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