Business or Pleasure by Solomon Rachel Lynn

Author:Solomon, Rachel Lynn [Solomon, Rachel Lynn]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Romance, Contemporary, Adult
ISBN: 9780593548530
Amazon: 0593548531
Goodreads: 62710608
Publisher: Berkley
Published: 2023-07-04T07:00:00+00:00

* * *

“There’s something else I’ve been wondering,” Finn says as we step into the bright midafternoon, as he slides on a pair of sunglasses. An hour later, and it still feels a little like his cursor is hovering over that file folder on my computer. When I nod, he does that thing again where he pauses to summon his words, rubbing at his stubbled chin for a moment. “What’s in this for you? The ‘few pointers’ you’ve been giving me.” Those words freeze me in place right on the sidewalk. “I’ve been thinking about it, and I figure you can’t possibly be doing it out of the goodness of your heart.”

I wish I could see his face, especially as the sun burns a blush onto my cheeks. It’s a much easier conversation than the one about my writing. “I guess I’ve had my reasons. For years, I was in love with one of my closest friends,” I start, and strangely, it’s not too difficult to admit. “Wyatt. I’d had a bit of a crush since college, and it never fully went away. I’d date someone else, we’d break up, and the crush would come back with a vengeance.”

Finn nods, doesn’t interrupt.

“A few weeks before I met you . . . he and I slept together. And I had all these delusions—of course, I didn’t realize that’s what they were back then—that we’d instantly become this perfect couple. I liked him so, so much, and I’d been patient, and it just felt like everything was falling into place.” It’s not some dark secret, and yet it’s not the most fun to relive. “Until he told me that wasn’t going to happen. That I was a ‘relationship girl,’ and he wasn’t looking for a relationship.”

“What does that even mean?” Finn asks. “A relationship girl?”

I think back through my dating history. Justin, my high school boyfriend and the first person I slept with, an act that lasted a total of six minutes. David, who I dated sophomore year of college, who’d been so supportive when I got pregnant and decided to get an abortion. We only broke up because he left to study abroad for a semester and neither of us wanted to do long-distance. Then there was Knox, the first guy I had an orgasm with, which made me bolder with the rest: a handful of other guys throughout my twenties from a handful of different dating apps, relationships lasting from four to eighteen months, until they ended and I went back to pining for Wyatt.

“I guess I haven’t ever done the casual thing. Until now.” I scrape at my thumb again, loosening a little stripe of blue. “In a way, he’s right. It just felt like the worst dig, coming from him— from someone who knew me that well, and who I liked so much. I was a relationship girl . . . but he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me.”

It’s the first time I’ve put those exact words together.

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