Blame it on the Pumpkin by Pamela K. Kinney

Author:Pamela K. Kinney
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Horror; Anthology
Publisher: DreamPunk Press
Published: 2022-05-22T00:00:00+00:00

It transpired Dain had been prepared for the eventuality of transmogrifying into a raven for the entirety of his life. His mother had worked her entire twenty-one years to find a way to break the curse but failed; her mission continuing through his father and grandparents.

"Like…once upon a time in Ireland…a witch named Badb took the form of a raven and cursed one of our mutual ancestors…Aongus of the Birds…for…like…

murdering her two sisters, Macha and Anad. Together, the 'Three Morrigna'…as they were known…were responsible for bringing about…like…that situation where no one has anything to eat…and….”

“Famine?” Wilhelmina said.

“No…I had a curry after the party.”

Her eyebrow involuntarily raised.

“Anyway, that thing…and floods…and other shit,” Dain said obviously struggling to recount the tale.

Wilhelmina sat entranced, not just by the story, but the fact that he suddenly sounded like a clueless teenager and not the smooth-talking heartbreaker she was accustomed to from the bar.

“One morning Aongus awoke to two golden eggs on his pillow, which, when cracked open, contained black hearts that were…like…beating. Badb…like…fluttering above them like a bat out of hell…cast a spell upon him, meaning his descendants would be born on…Oíche Shamhna?” he said appearing to question if he had pronounced it correctly and Wilhelmina’s expression told him she was clueless. “Irish for ‘Halloween,’ my Gran said.

“Anyhoo…on…like…reaching the age of maturity his descendants would transform into ravens and…like… flock off,” he said grinning at his pun. “Oh…and the females would not be bestowed with beauty…the good-looking…like…genes…I guess…transferred to the males."

"So…obvs…like…the women got all the brains, then?" Wilhelmina quipped, annoyed at how dumb he sounded.

But he was the darkest of princes sitting on her bed. Beggars could not be choosers.

"So, your mother wasn't beautiful?" she said.

"Nah. From the pictures I saw, she looked kinda like you."

"Gee…thanks."

"Just keeping it one hundred, dude.”

“Fair,” she said, thinking nothing was ever fair at all.

"So… what we do?"

"The only way to…like…break the curse…is when human ravens mate on the day of transformation. So… we have to…like…hook up. I guess,” he smiled.

Wilhelmina’s body fluids positively bubbled at the prospect unless her insides had started to regurgitate the prosecco.

"I mean…Dain…like…I get it. But you look so snatched. Me, though…how can you possibly get this aesthetic?"

Really, Willy… are you really trying to talk yourself out of this? It's Dain…new and improved with fucking wings!

"I think it's like…kinda hot…actually,” he said. "I've never done it…like…with an actual chick before."

Wilhelmina rolled her eyes, but his uncultured candor scorched her thighs until she felt a protrusion on her nose.

"Shit,” he laughed. "You're getting a beak. We better hurry…I'm…like…good to go now,” he said indicating his crotch with a cheeky smile.

Looking into his lap, Wilhelmina's stomach flipped like the time Sister Pauline shoved her off a cliff bungee jump before she was fully prepared.

"O–kay,” she squawked. “Alexa…turn off the light."

"Alexa…turn on the light,” Dain said. "And…like… don't listen to Willy no more."

Anymore. She wanted to correct him by saying, suddenly understanding why some people did not want their lovers to speak. But he was beautiful, and

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