Amethyst by Helen Hardt

Author:Helen Hardt [Hardt, Helen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-08-06T18:30:00+00:00

10

JENNA

He doesn’t answer me right away, and I’m not surprised.

People walk on eggshells around me, and I understand their reticence. If the situation were reversed, I wouldn’t know how to act either.

But I’m alive. Alive and miraculously healthy considering what I’ve been through. I need to move forward. I’m determined not to let the experience color my entire life. I worked hard during that grueling year of intensive therapy, and I found out a lot of things about myself. First, I’m stronger than I ever believed I was.

And second? Those dreams I had for my life? They’re still valid. I’m still going to go to college. It’ll be different for sure. I’m going to study social sciences and learn to help abused women instead of studying law. Plus, I missed out on those four post-high-school years where you get to be independent without really being independent. Where you get to go to sorority rushes and frat parties and keggers on campus.

I mourned that loss, and now I’m ready to move on.

I still want marriage. I still want a family. And to have those things?

I’m going to have to have sex.

I reach forward tentatively and touch the corded muscle of Max’s forearm.

He jolts a bit at my touch.

“You’re a very attractive man, Max,” I tell him.

“Thank you. I think.”

“I mean it. You came into your own in high school, and I never really understood why you didn’t date more seriously. But now? My God. You’re male model handsome.”

He looks down at his lap. “Don’t lie to me, Jenna.”

I open my mouth to apologize until I realize I’m not lying.

Max Robinson is as handsome a man as I’ve ever seen.

“Look at me,” I say. “Look me in the eye.”

He returns his gaze to mine, and his dark eyes are burning.

“I’m not lying, Max. Have you ever known me to lie to you?”

“No, but it’s been a while.”

“I won’t lie. I’ve changed, for sure.” My hand wanders absently to the scar on my cheek. “You can’t go through what I went through and not be a changed person. But at my core—at the very innermost parts of my soul—I’m the same Jenna. I’m still your best friend.”

He touches me, cups my cheek, runs his thumb over the scar. “I wish I could erase it all for you.”

“I know you do, and I love you for it. But you can’t, and I’ve accepted that. You need to accept it as well.”

He nods, and then he moves closer—almost in slow motion—until his lips touch mine.

I jerk backward.

Not because I’m scared, and not because I don’t want his touch.

I jerk backward because of the spark it elicits in me.

Wow. I totally wasn’t expecting that.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Yes. I’m okay.”

He comes toward me again, kisses my lips, and this time, I make a conscious effort not to jerk from him. Instead, I lean into him, part my lips slightly so that I’m returning his kiss.

His full, firm lips are soft against mine.

He kisses me again, and then once more, and then his soft tongue probes my mouth for entrance.

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