All the Pieces of Me by Rebecca Westcott

Author:Rebecca Westcott
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Scholastic
Published: 2022-02-15T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 16

Tally dreams. It is last year, and she’s at GoCamp with Gory and Jade, hanging out with the cute animals at the animal sanctuary. She laughs at something funny Gory says and feels the warmth of Jade’s arm slung around her shoulder, and everything is real and good and simple. And then she wakes up and the positive sensations vanish before she has even opened her eyes, only to be replaced by the feeling. Actually, it’s more than a feeling; it’s a churning, physical whirlpool in her stomach and it’s impossible to ignore.

“Morning, sunshine!” trills Mum, entering the room. “It’s a glorious day outside and it’s nearly the weekend so there’s lots to be happy about!”

Tally doesn’t move. Happy is not an option for her today, even if it is Friday.

“Let’s get you up.” Mum flings back the curtains, not seeming to notice that the bright sunlight pierces straight into Tally’s eyes.

“I can’t.”

Tally hears the words come out of her mouth and every muscle in her body tenses. She didn’t mean to say it but it’s the truth. She can’t go to school – she knows that with every bit of herself.

Mum sits down on the bed. “Talk to me, honey. We’ve been through this over and over again and I need you to explain the problem to me.” She leans over and gently strokes Tally’s forehead. “I know it’s tricky for you without Layla but what’s going on in there, hey?”

If she weren’t battling with the terrifying sensation of drowning inside her own body, Tally would almost want to laugh. Mum has asked that question as if it has a simple answer; like it’s as easy as asking if Tally wants peanut butter on her toast. But the simple answer to her question is everything and there is nothing easy about that.

Everything is going on inside Tally’s head and it feels like water under pressure, getting higher and higher and threatening to overflow the edges. She knows that she should be happy – she has some friends and really is a part of the group, not just hanging on the edges – but it all still feels so risky. As if she’s going to mess it up at any minute and lose everyone.

It’s happened before with the friends she cares most about.

It’s not the most illogical fear in the world.

Tally sits up and swings her legs past Mum, intent on getting out of the room as quickly as she can. She knows this feeling and it never ends well.

Mum sighs. “I’ve spoken to school again and they say that your grades are OK and you seem fine in class and you haven’t even needed to use the Safe Space for a while.” She looks down at Tally. “They think that you’ve made real progress since we had that last meeting with them. So why are you refusing to go in?”

The dam bursts. But instead of doing what it might normally do, and roar out into the room, it empties Tally of all ability to move or speak.

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