Aleister Crowley and the Practice of the Magical Diary by James Wasserman

Author:James Wasserman [Wasserman, James]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: BODY; MIND & SPIRIT, Magick Studies
ISBN: 9781609252755
Google: pYwYjGxw6VwC
Publisher: Weiser Books
Published: 2006-04-01T23:42:09.413520+00:00

THE NINTH DAY

12.2. Thus I began this great day, being in my Asana firm and easy, and holding in my breath for a full minute while I threw my will with all my might towards Adonai.

12.19. Have settled myself for the night. Will continue a little, learning the Ritual.

12.37. Having learnt a few passages of a suitable nature to go to sleep upon, I will do so.

… Now I hope that I shall; surely the Reaction of Nature against the Magical Will must be wearing down at last!

2.12. I wake. It takes me a little while to shake off the dominion of sleep, very intense and bitter.

3.4. Thus John St. John — for it is not convenient further to speak as “I” — performed 45 Breath-cycles; for 20 minutes he had to struggle against the Root of the Powers of Sleep, and the obstruction of his left nostril.

During his Kambhakham he willed Adonai with all his might.

Let him sleep, invoking Adonai!

5.40. Well hath he slept, and well awakened.

The last entry should extend to 3.30 or thereabouts; probably later; for, invoking Adonai, he again got the beginnings of the Light, and the “telephone-cross” voices very strongly. But this time he was fortunately able to concentrate on Adonai with some fervour, and these things ceased to trouble. But the Perfume and the Vision came not, nor any full manifestation of the L.V.X., the Secret Light, the light that shineth in darkness.

John St. John is again very sleepy. He will try and concentrate on Adonai without doing Pranayama — much harder of course. It is a supreme effort to keep both eyes open together.

He must do his best. He does not wish to wake too thoroughly, either, lest afterward he oversleep himself, and miss his appointment with Michael Brenner to continue moulding Siddhasana.

7.45. Again I awake … {O swine! thou hast felt in thyself “Good! Good! the night is broken up nicely; all goes very well” — and thou hast written “I!” O swine, John St. John! When wilt thou learn that the least stirring of thy smug content is the great Fall from the Path?}

It will be best to get up and do some kind of work; for the beast would sleep.

8.25. John St. John has arisen, after doing 20 breath-cycles, reciting internally the ritual, 70 per cent. of which he now knows by heart.

8.35. To the Dôme — a café-croissant. Some proofs to correct during the meal.

10.25. Having walked over to the studio reciting the Ritual (9.25–9.55 approximately), John St. John got into his pose, and began going for the gloves. The Interior Trembling began, and the room filled with the Subtle Light. He was within an ace of Concentration; the Violet Lotus of Ajna* appeared, flashing like some marvellous comet; the Dawn began to break, as he slew with the Lightning-Flash every thought that arose in him, especially this Vision of Ajna; but fear — dread fear! — gripped his heart. Annihilation stood before him, annihilation of John St. John that he had so long striven to obtain: yet he dared not.

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